Our Duty to Our Children

Okay, very good. Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to Cornerstone Reform Baptist Church. It is a great blessing for me to be once again with you, worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ together on this Lord's Day. I'm going to invite your brothers and sisters and friends to please open up your Bibles to the book of Ephesians. Ephesians chapter 5 and 6.

We are going to be taking a little bit of a break on our study through the Book of Romans. And we are going to be, as we sometimes do every four or five months that we've been preaching through Romans, take a little bit of a break to preach through a particular topic. Last time that we did that last year, we addressed the characteristics of a biblical church. This time, in the following weeks, I want us to consider the characteristics of a biblical family. Last time we consider a biblical church.

I want us now to consider in the following weeks, the characteristics of a biblical family and what we are going to be addressing this afternoon. It is found in chapter six of the letter to the Ephesians in verse four, in which the Lord through the Apostle Paul is going to give the exhortation to the church, specifically to parents or fathers, if you want, more particularly, not to provoke the children to anger or to wrath, but to bring them up in the discipline and in the instruction of the Lord, or in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. If I was going to give a title to this afternoon's message, then the title that I would give it is the duty or the spiritual duty that we have to our children. We have a spiritual duty to our children, and I want us to consider that from the scriptures. Perhaps you might be asking, well, brother, I do not have a child.

I'm a single person, and I don't have any plans to have a child in the future. If that is the case, you do not know if perhaps in the future you're going to be married, and you need to be prepared and equipped according to the scriptures so that you will know what it is your spiritual duty to your children. Or perhaps you may ask yourself the question, or you may say, brother, my children are already gone. You know, like I had my children in the past, and there's certainly no opportunity for me to undo or do certain things because my children are gone. Even if that is your case, it is good for a Christian to be equipped and to be prepared with their scriptures and with the word of God so that we will be able to pray for our brothers and sisters who are parents to children and who have that important responsibility, a spiritual duty to their children.

And let me submit to you that even if there's no relationship between parent and children in your life, there is a sense in which when we disciple each other, we're going to find people in our journey, in our Christian life who are more immature in their Christian life whom we are called to disciple in a sense. And even though I know from the scriptures that we only have one father, and that is our Lord, there is a sense in when we disciple another person, when we engage in disciple another person, we are engaging in some level of responsibility of training and admonition, as the Apostle will say there in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4. So this topic is very important, not only for the families who have children or for those people who will have children in the future, but it's very important for the church, because in a sense, a biblical church is simply the coming together of biblical Christians. And also, in a sense, is the coming together of biblical families. If we are Biblical Christians, we're going to have Biblical families, and the coming together of those Biblical families is what makes a Biblical church.

That's why I consider that it's important not only to address the characteristics of a Biblical church, as we did six months ago or so, but also to address the characteristics of a biblical family. And this afternoon, as I said before, we are going to be addressing the spiritual duty that we have to our children. I certainly do not have sufficient words, brethren, to put on the table the importance of what it is for us to shape the character of our children through the truth of God and Christ Jesus. It's true that we cannot save our children. It is true that we cannot change them spiritually, that that is the work of the Lord.

But I cannot emphasize with better words the importance for us to be aware that there is a dark world outside, that if we are not intentionally and diligently, and by the power of the Spirit, and in the truth of the Scriptures, bringing Christ to our children, and bringing the truth of Christ to our children, someone else is going to be bringing spiritual truths to our children, and not precisely the truths of Christ. So may the Lord help us and give us the humility not only to speak, but also the humility to receive the words of the Lord as we consider today the spiritual duty that we have to our children. We are going to be reading together, brethren, from Ephesians chapter 5, verse 17, all the way through chapter 6, verse 4. This is known as the household exhortations that Paul is going to give to the Ephesian church. If you remember, and before we read, if you give me just your attention for one minute, please, Paul opens this letter by speaking about the depths of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The blessed is the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing. And he leaves all of those spiritual blessings that we have in Christ Jesus, the depths and the riches of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. to then in Chapter 2, tells us from where we have been rescued. If you remember in Chapter 2, then he says that we were dead in our sins, in our trespasses, and that we were made alive in Jesus Christ. To then move into the second half of Chapter 2, to speak about the reality of the church that has been rescued from those sins.

The reality is that whether you are a Jew or a Gentile, you have been made one in Christ Jesus. Then tell us in chapter three that we need to in the context of the church to be one into chapter four, one faith, one spirit, one Lord, one baptism that is in the power of the unity of the church that in Paul in chapter 5 is going to tell us or give us better this household exhortations. He's going to start to speak to the church to tell them you are to follow the will of the Lord. You're not to be drunk with wine, but you're to be filled with the Holy Spirit and in the fullness of the Holy Spirit to sing together sounds and spiritual songs and hymns. And in that submission or in that unity, you're to submit to one another from that idea of the church.

Then the apostle starts to give these exhortations about The family husbands, you're to love your wives as Christ loved the church. Wives, you are to submit to your husbands as you submit to the Lord. And then in chapter six, he's going to address the children. Children are to obey the parents. And then in four, he's going to say that the parents are not to provoke their children to anger or to wrath.

And then He's going to address the bond servants and the masters. This is what we're going to be addressing, these household exhortations. The one that we're focusing this afternoon in chapter 16, verse 4, is that which God gives through Paul to the Ephesians and hence to us, to fathers or to parents, that we are not to provoke them to wrath or to anger, but that we are to bring them up, we are to nurture them, We're to bring them up in the admonition, or better, in the nurturing, in the training, in the discipline, and in the admonition, or instruction, or correction of the Lord. Let us read together, or better, let me briefly pray, and then we will read together Ephesians 5, 17, all the way through 6, 4. Let us pray together.

Father, Lord, I pray that You will grant us the clarity that we need to speak about these matters, this is spiritual duty. that we have to our children, Lord, I pray that you will use the truths that are going to be spoken. And I hope that by your Holy Spirit, everything will be according to the truth of your word, to speak to your people, to speak to brothers and sisters who are presently under this role of being a parent, being a father or mother. And if there's people here within us that in the future they will be fathers or mothers or I also pray that you will use your word to equip them to fulfill this spiritual duty that we have with our children and to all of us, whether we are parents or not, whether we have children or not, Lord, I pray that you will grant us the truth of the principles that are contained here so that we will learn to nurture one another in the training, in the admonition of the Lord, that we will learn to disciple one another, to carry our burdens together and to lead a life or to live a life according to what is written in the Word of God. I pray, Lord, that you will grant us marriages, humble marriages, that as we acknowledge our limitations and our sin before you, Lord, that you make us marriages that are more like you and that we can bear fruit of righteousness for your glory and the benefit of our families and our children and our church.

I pray, Lord, that you will prepare the single men here who are perhaps being equipped even from now to be husbands in the future and to be fathers I pray that whatever little piece of truth is communicated, Lord, that You will put it, deposit it in the hearts of these young men, so that in the future they will be biblical husbands and biblical parents of fathers. I also pray for the sisters who may be single now, and they are beholding or perhaps considering the possibility of being a wife or a mother in the future. I also pray, O Lord, that You will deposit in their hearts the truth of the Word of God and that you will prepare them to fulfill this duty, a spiritual duty that we have for our children. Even as our children listen to this, Lord, I pray that the truth of the gospel and of Christ will be exalted and clearly presented, that they will come to Christ. And as they are formed in the things of the Lord, in their hearts only, they will see the importance of what it is to be brought up and to be nurtured and to be under the admonition of the Lord.

Help us, Lord, to have families that glorify You, marriages that glorify You. Help us, Lord, to be men that live according to Your Word. Help us to be women, Lord, that live according to Your Word and to exalt You in all things. And we pray that You will do this for Your glory. And in the name of Jesus Christ, we pray.

Amen. Very good. The spiritual duty that we have to our children, we are reading together from Ephesians 5, verse 17, through chapter 6, verse 4. This is the Word of the Lord. I'm reading from the English Standard Version of the Bible, verse 17.

Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart. giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now, as the Church submits to Christ also wives, she submits in everything to the husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word. so that he may present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ, and the church. However, let each one of you, his brothers, love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with I promise that he may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Our text in verse 4. Do not provoke your children to wrath or to anger, but bring them up in the nurture or in the discipline or in the training and the instruction or admonition of the Lord. This is the Word of the Lord. Amen.

Now, brethren, I'm not sure if you are familiar, perhaps some of you may be, with a famous missionary, a British missionary that he ministered there in China and also in India and then in Central Asia. His name is C.T. Stott. Not that I quote many people, but Sophie loves to read missionary biographies, and one of the famous quotes of this missionary, British missionary, is in relation to our lives.

Perhaps you've heard this. He says something like this, But only what matters is what we have done for Christ. Something like this. This is my Colombian version of that quote. There, what C.

T. Statt, when he's writing a poem, I think, towards the end of the 20th century, he just is speaking about, first of all, the uniqueness of this one life that we have, and the shortness of it. And he acknowledges that in the shortness of the life that we have in this present time, the only thing that matters, or the only thing that lasts, is the things that we have done for Christ. He points there in that quote, if you want, that absolutely everything that we do here in this present life, our work, our study, and the things that we accumulate, in a sense, they are going to pass away. They are very important.

It is so important that we work, and that we accumulate money, and that we provide for our families, and that we pursue a skill, and that we work hard in those things. But those things are going to pass. And only the things that matter are the things that we do for the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Of course, the truth of what He said is not rooted in His words, but in the principles of the Scriptures. Because the Scriptures also tells us that life is a vapor.

that vanishes and that appears and vanishes away very, very quickly. Life goes very quickly. And only the things that are important, the things that we do for the Lord. Paul says in First Corinthians, Chapter 15, that our work or labor in the Lord is not in vain. That is the brevity, the shortness of our lives.

And the importance of it is only found in the person of Jesus Christ. Is it true that we are to pursue education? Yes, it is true. It is true that we are to pursue work and skills to provide. It is true.

Is it true that we are to have food to eat and to provide for the people whom we love? It is true. But in the end, the things that matter for the Christian are the things that we've done in Christ and for Christ. The things that we do in this present life for the Lord and unto the Lord. And the only way that we can understand the importance of those spiritual things that are done for the Lord, it is only by God's grace we have been given an insight into the eternality of our days and that our lives in this world is very short, but we're eternal beings.

And what important what is important to us is not so much what happens here, but rather what is going to happen in eternity. If we're going to be with him and how we're going to worship him as a triune God. And of course, I suppose that that leads us to the question of what are we doing with our lives with this one short life that God has given you perhaps 2025 or 50, 60, 70, 80, 100 years, whatever is the amount of time. that the Lord has given you, what are you doing with your life? What are you investing your time on?

What are you doing with your efforts? What are you doing with your talents? What are you doing with the gifts that God has given you? Are you investing them on those things? that are going to pass away, that are temporal, that one day will be no more?

Or are you doing things in Christ and for Christ, those things that matter and those things that are important? And someone may ask the question, well, then, brother, what things can I do that are of important or eternal importance? And someone may think that in order for you to do things that are of internal importance, that you perhaps have to become like a missionary, like Siti Stato, other missionaries, and that perhaps you have to go to the nations to preach the gospel and to sacrifice yourself and to give your life to bring the good news to a people that has not been reached. And perhaps that may be the calling of some of you. I hope that at least one or two people here will be called to be a missionary into the nation.

But let me submit, brethren, to you that it is very likely that that is not the calling that God has for most of you, at least. So when I think, well, perhaps then I just need to be an evangelist. I need to spend the rest of my days sharing the gospel. And while it is true that all Christians have been called to preach the gospel and to share the gospel, that calling of an evangelist perhaps is not for everyone. Or perhaps you may feel if you're a brother that the way that you do eternal things that actually count in eternity is by becoming a pastor or elder and to serving in the church, and what I hope, and it is true, that perhaps there may be some among you who may be called to the ministry of being a pastor of an elder.

Let me submit to you, brethren, that many times the way that we fulfill the calling that God has given you, it is just by simply being the person that God has called us to be, to the person that is seated next to us. or the person that wakes up in the morning in our same bed, or the little children that wake up in the morning in our same house, or these little people that come to our bed and wake us up in the morning, that the calling is fulfilled to honor the Lord and to glorify the Lord in the primary environment that He has given us. our wives, our husbands, our children. And if you don't have a husband, if you don't have a wife, if you don't have children, then with your brothers and sisters and with people in the context that providentially you have been placed in. Sometimes I'm amazed how we men or even women can be tempted to be solvers or find solutions to the problems of the world, to the problems of the government, to the problem of Christianity in large and many times, We have the solutions to all of those problems in our heads.

When we neglect the people that are in our houses, in our households, when we neglect our wives, when we neglect our husbands, when we neglect our children, we are very busy, occupied, trying to find solutions to the problems that are not necessarily immediately ours. When our children are not looked after spiritually, or our wives are neglected, or our husbands are also neglected, or our brothers and sisters are neglected, or our family in the church is also neglected, we are spiritually wise to solve the problems of someone else. but not spiritually strong enough to do the things that God has called us to do with those people that he has placed around us. And I think that considering ourselves the biblical characteristics of a family is of great importance. Because brethren, even though we might be few and we might be weak, yes, we are few, and we are weak, and we are very, very needy.

Brethren, let me submit to you that the kingdom of Christ is built up from bottom to top, from your heart, to the people that the Lord has placed around you, your wife, your husband, your children, your brothers and sisters. And when we are faithful in being faithful to the Lord in those things is when the church of the Lord Jesus Christ is strong, is when we are faithful in the things that He has actually called us to do. And I want us to start to consider that thought in the following weeks. you know, by biblical or the characteristics of a biblical family. But first of all, considering this exhortation that we have here in Ephesians chapter six of being of this duty, a spiritual duty that we have towards our Children and a spiritual duty that we have towards our Children.

If you put your eyes there in the text, the apostle tells their very clearly fathers And also the principle there goes to the parents, but he says, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath or to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and in the admonition or instruction of the Lord. I want to see consider, as I said, the spiritual responsibility or duty that we have towards our Children. I want us to do a couple of things here from this text and from the context of the Scriptures. And certainly we're not going to finish today. I spoke too long just even in the beginning.

We're not gonna be able to finish it today. But I want us to do a couple of things first, and that perhaps is what it's gonna take most of the time today is understanding what the apostle says there in verse four. What is the meaning of fathers do not provoke your children to wrath or do not provoke your children to anger? What is the meaning of that? How can fathers provoke children to wrath or to anger?

What is the meaning? Is that I don't have to say or do anything that you might not be upset, my dear son or daughter? Or is it that I should not say anything? I just let you go and let you be so you will not be upset? What is the meaning of not provoking your children, but on the contrary, nurturing them or bringing them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord?

I want us to consider the what of that. And I hope that that is going to help us not only to see the will of the Lord, but more importantly, to examine ourselves to ask ourselves this question, what are we doing that has eternal value? Are we heavily focused perhaps on things that are material and physical in nature and given the definition of faithfulness to us when we are neglecting the spiritual responsibilities that we have to our husbands and our wives and our children and our brothers and our sisters in the context that the Lord has placed us? What are we doing? Are we investing ourselves into something that is going to perish and pass away?

Or are we investing ourselves in spiritual things that are going to last? Namely, the spiritual responsibility in this case that we have towards our children. And I want us to consider not only the what, and then Lord willing, if we have the time in the following weeks, the how. How can we as fathers and parents in general, fulfill this exhortation that we have in verse four. How can we first not provoke our children to wrath?

And how can we nurture them or bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord? How can we do that? That will help us as we consider this. The first thing, as I said, that I want us to do is the what? what is the meaning of what the apostle is actually going to tell us here in verse four.

And in order to explore that, what of these exhortation that he gave says, I want us to consider four observations. The first one is the nature of these exhortation that Paul gives to the church. Pay attention to the nature of it, or the type of exhortation that he gives. He says in verse four, fathers, Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction. And then he says, "...

of the Lord. The nature of this exhortation that Paul gives to the church and to the fathers and to the parents is a spiritual admonition. It's a spiritual exhortation. That means that what the Apostle is focused about is on the spiritual aspect of the relationship of parents to the children. The Apostle is not saying here that the parents or the fathers are to provide the physical things, which the Bible does tell us that we are supposed to do that for our people.

But rather, what the apostle is telling us is that parents, or fathers more particularly here, we have a spiritual duty to our children. This is spiritual duty of the Lord. It is true, the scripture tells us, that we are to provide for what they eat and where they live, and if we do not do so, we are worse than the unbelievers. But here, this spiritual responsibility, or better, this responsibility that parents have, is a responsibility of the Lord, or in the Lord, is a spiritual responsibility. Just as we provide to them the food to eat and the place to live in, there is a responsibility that parents have to their children to provide the things of Jesus Christ.

This is the training and the admonition of the Lord. Just as I have the duty to provide for my children what they ought to eat, I'm also in the necessity, in the obligation, to provide for them the things of the Lord Jesus Christ. And even from the onset, just simply considering that, we parents need to ask ourselves the question, am I being diligent enough, as I am, to provide for the food that my children eat and to provide for the place where they eat? Am I being diligent enough to provide for them the things of Christ? Why am I being so busy in the things of this world?

And it is so important for me the things that they need to eat, and education, and their future, and their house, and the things that they are going to get, that my focus is no longer on the things of Jesus Christ. or that the things of Jesus Christ is perhaps just a little percentage of the efforts that I have in the bringing up of my children, that I'm just so concerned with myself and my things that no longer I see the necessity and the responsibility, a spiritual responsibility that I have for my children. It is true, my dear brother and sister, that we cannot change the heart of a child. It is true, my dear brother and sister, that salvation is of the Lord, and that God is the only one who saves by His Holy Spirit. It is true, my dear brother and sister, that we cannot make our children Christian.

But it is also true that we have a spiritual duty before the Lord. And even though we may not be able to give them a new heart, The Scripture tells us that through the Word of the Lord and by the power of the Spirit, we are able to shape their character. We are able to shape their principles. We are able to shape the way that they see and understand things. And that is the duty that we have with our children, that we are to bring the things of the Lord and awaiting the patience and awaiting the sovereignty of the Lord for Him to do as He has been pleased to do for each one of us.

The question is not, is my son or daughter one who is going to believe and become a Christian? The question is, brother and sister, are you faithful to your child in the things that God has called you to do? And not only the physical things, as I said, but providing the things of Jesus Christ. The nature of this exhortation is not one that is physical, but it's one that is spiritual. Second, I want you to see the content of this exhortation that we are given here.

The content of this exhortation, as you can see here, we have a negative thing that we are not supposed to do, and then we have a positive thing that we are supposed to do. Pay attention there once again to verse 4. Do not provoke your children to wrath or do not provoke your children to anger. But here comes the positive. Bring them up in the discipline and in the instruction of the Lord or nurture them in the in the admonition, or better, in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

We're told something that we're not supposed to do, and we're something that we are supposed to do as parents. That which we're not supposed to do is to provoke our children to wrath. And that which we are supposed to do is to nurture them and to bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Now, what is the meaning of provoking your children to wrath? What is the meaning of that instruction that we are given?

What is the meaning of not provoking our children to wrath or to anger? Does that mean that I'm not supposed to do or to say anything that is going to provoke anger in my children? But what about when I need to discipline them? Many times they might not understand why I'm giving discipline. And the discipline may be reasonable.

And the reason why I'm instructing or giving an admonition to my child, it might be a reasonable thing. And the result that I receive from my child might be that they're angry about it. It might be a wrathful, perhaps, even response. What is the apostle telling me here? That I'm supposed to remain passive and far away from the emotional life of my child, lest I might be bothered, this little person, and lest they might feel angry towards me?

What is the meaning of this? Well, certainly it is not an easy text to understand, and people have tried to give different answers to the meaning of what it is not to provoke your children to wrath. I think that in order for us to understand what the apostle is trying to say here, we need to understand what he tells us positively. If you see there, both the statements there are connected with the word but. He tells us what not to do.

Do not provoke your children to write. But, he says, on the other side, or opposite to that, what you are supposed to do is to bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. Whatever is the meaning of provoking your children to wrath is understood positively in that we are to bring up our children in the instruction and in the admonition of the Lord. Here in that positive instruction that the apostle tells us, he's telling us that as parents, we have the spiritual duties to nurture our children. That is what it means in bring them up.

Imagine perhaps a little plant, and that plant, the growth of that plant is defined by the water and the nutrients that are poured into that plant. What Apostle is telling us in that second statement is that the spiritual responsibility that we have as parents or fathers is that we are to nurture our children. And the way that we nurture our children is both in the discipline of the Lord and in the instruction of the Lord. or in the nurture and in the admonition of the Lord. That which we ought to do for our children is first, that we need to tell them what to do and how to do it in the Lord, that is the discipline and the training of the Lord.

And when they deviate from that path, then we need to nurture them with the admonition or with the correction of the Lord. From that statement, we see the necessity of an active relationship between the father and the child. The relationship between the father or the parent and the child is not one that is mechanic, is not one that is passive, is not one that is just ruled by the schedule that I have to fulfill, but the relationship The relationship of the parent to the child is one that is active and living, in which the parent is bringing them up, nurturing them in training and admonition. Training is that which I actively tell them that they are to know the things of the Lord and the ways of the Lord. And the admonition is the correction that I'm supposed to bring to the child.

Here, the apostle is making echo to that passage that speaks about the Scriptures, if you come with me to 2 Timothy, in 2 Timothy, chapter 2, verse 16 and 17, you may remember there are some of those attributes of the word of the Lord. Similar concepts and similar ideas is what Paul says in Ephesians, chapter 6. In 2 Timothy, chapter 3, verse 16, It says all Scripture, 2 Timothy 3, verse 16, all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training. I have it here in the ESV. All the Scripture that is breathed out by God, it comes from the life of God, is profitable or is good for.

What is it good for? It is good for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training. Here we have those two aspects of what the Word of God does. The Word of God tells us what we are actively to do. This is the teaching and this is the training, but also the Word of God tells us what needs to be corrected when we deviate from that path.

This is what the Word of God does for the Christian. He guides you actively and tells you actively who Christ Jesus is and who you ought to be in Christ. And when you deviate from that, the same word of God through the power of the Holy Spirit will point to your deviation and will bring correction or exhortation so that once again, you are in that path of profitability. Our relationship to a child is one that needs to be active and living in the pouring of the things of the Lord in their lives. It's not passive.

It's not just simply I'm busy with my life and I'm busy with the things of this world and I no longer have time for you, but it's one that is active, bringing, nurturing the child in the training, active training of the things of the Lord and the admonition of the things of the Lord. That is that I have a duty, a responsibility for this little beautiful plant that requires water, that requires the sun, that requires the nutrients necessary for it to grow. I know that the growth of this little beautiful plant is of the Lord. And I know that if this little plant is going to become a tree and is going to be used to provide fruit, it's of the Lord. But my duty as a father, as a parent, is that I will diligently and constantly pour upon this little beautiful plant that God has entrusted me with the things of the Lord.

so that this little plant will grow in the training of the things of the Lord. And sometimes with this little plant of mine crooked to one side or go to the other side, it is my responsibility also to come with the things of the Lord, to bring the admonition of the things of the Lord. This duty that I have as a father is not one only that is a physical one in which I need to provide bread and water or something to drink for their bodies. But it's also my responsibility to actively provide for my child the spiritual things of Christ. And now, my dear brother and sister, how are we doing with that with our children?

Where is the focus of our endeavors, of our work, and our sacrifices for our children? Are we driven to provide things, and are we satisfied with this amount of money, and with this toy, and with this other thing that I give you, and we fill the gaps of our responsibilities by providing staff and things? Why are we diligently seeking the Lord to be strengthened and empowered to care for our children spiritually? Remember, brethren, the things of this world will soon pass away. Only the things that we do for Christ are the ones that will last.

And even though the future of the soul of that little person or that son or daughter that we have is in the hands of the Lord, the call to parents is that we are to be training them, nurturing them in the training and in the admonition of the Lord. The nature is spiritual. The extent of it is that we are not to provoke them to anger. But what is the meaning of it? Well, the meaning of it is this.

God has given you an authority over your child. And the result of the way that you work out that authority over your child, genuinely, it is by actively pouring upon your child the training and the admonition that you have over them. The way that you exercise in a rightful way your authority over your children is when your correction comes together with your training. That is that you don't have an unbalance or disbalance or whatever the word is between your correction and your pouring upon your child. If your correction exceeds the nurturing of love that you have over your child, then you're no longer keeping the balance of Christ.

Because that is the balance of the Lord, exceeding love that has been manifested in the person of Jesus Christ, but also exceeding wrath. for the one that is not in Christ. So hence the wrath of the Lord is to be feared for those who are not in Christ. And the love of God is to be appreciated because of Jesus Christ. He holds the perfect balance of the exceeding manifestation of his love towards the world.

but also for those who reject Him, also His wrath and judgment. And in a sense, we parents reflect the attributes of God in our household. The authority that God has given us of our children is to reflect that loving nurture that pers upon our children, to instruct them and to direct them, but also that righteous discipline that we are to bring to our children when they deviate from the path. And we are to do that actively, constantly, and in the power of the Holy Spirit, if there is no balance. between the loving nurture that we provide to our children and the discipline we're going to fail on one side or the other.

If we are very quick to point to the things that our child has done wrong, and we're always there to point to the things that are wrong and to accuse them and to punish them and to bring judgment, even if it's right, but that compared to the moral to compare to the level of love and nurturing that we have to our children. It is the difference of gap. Then we're no longer fulfilling this requirement that we have of bringing them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. And if we are fearful to bring discipline to the child. And the only thing that we do is to manifest to them manifestations of our loves and our emotion, making the child the idol of our affections.

But we do not correct them. Then brother, we're not fulfilling the requirement that the Lord has given us to bring them up in the admonition and the nurturing of the Lord. Any deviation from that is what provokes a children to wrath. The wrath of the child is going to be an inner rebellion or resentment to the unfaithful authority of the parent or the father that is applied in an ongoing, inconsistent, not diligent way. When my father is okay, he's all good.

But when my father is in trouble, he responds in wrath. When my father is all good, he speaks about the things of Christ. But when he is tired, he does not remember the things of Christ. When my father or my mother is all good, then I can come and I can enter into their presence. But if they arrive home and they are tired, I cannot enter into their presence because I don't know how they are going to respond.

Brethren, all of the weaknesses of our flesh are present because of our sinful condition, but the closer that we are to Christ, we learn that that child that is there does not only provide good things for us as parents or things that we need to correct in them, but rather that they are a gift that God has entrusted us that we are to look after and to protect according to the things of the Lord. And the more that we realize how unable we are to fulfill that call the more that we depend upon the Savior. We are not good parents in and of ourselves. We're not fathers. We're not good mothers in and of ourselves.

We need the help of the Holy Spirit that will give us an insight into the things of Christ for us to care for our children not only for what they provide emotionally to us, but for what they are in perspective of redemptive history, a person who has been created by God and a soul that has been entrusted unto us. Provoking our children to wrath is that type of authority that is exercised, lacking the diligence either of the nurturing love that is meant to be provided to the children or with excessive admonition that does not balance the things of Christ, but rather the authority of the parent is meant to be exercised and given to the children in that glorious balance of God that is nurturing the child in the ways of Jesus Christ and also bringing that admonition so that your child will know that even though my father is the disciplines the strongest and the hardest and I'm fearful of the authority of my father in a good way, I also know that my father or my mother is the one that loves me the most. And I know that even though it might hurt, even though I might not like it now, I know that he or she loves me the most. I know that there's no one in this world that loves me as my father or mother loves me. And because I know that this father that I have and this mother that I have is the one that loves me the most in this world.

then the discipline that I receive of them or from them makes sense. When the result of discipline is only fear of the commandment that is broken, we just simply don't because I'm your father and you are supposed to do what I tell you to do because I'm your father, then brethren, we're just simply falling into the legalism that many of the Pharisees understood the commandments that God gave. The reason why God gave the commandments to the people of Israel was not to save them, was not to give them eternal life. The reason why God gave the commandments to the people of Israel is because he was his God and he was his Redeemer. I loved you out of the many nations.

I did not choose you because you were many or powerful. I choose you because I loved you. It's because I am your God that I'm giving you the commandment to do. Same thing happens in the household, my dear brother and sister. The nurturing of the child is relational primarily.

And then the more that we work by the grace of the Lord in the soul of that child, the more that our connection to the child will not be, I'm your father, you're my son, but rather from the heart, I am your father. And you are my son, and you are my daughter. And he knows and she knows that I love them, and he also or she knows that if they break what they are supposed to do, there also will come the admonition that is necessary. The nature is spiritual. The extent, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Pay attention to the focus of this commandment once again. You would have seen there, in verse 4, that the focus of this commandment is not necessarily parents, but the focus of this commandment, verse 4, is fathers. You see there? The focus of this commandment is not parents, but the focus of this commandment is fathers. Some people say here that the principle of the word fathers can be translated parents, which is true, but I think that Paul is intentionally trying to bring a particularly focus to the fathers.

And we know that because he has used different words in the previous verses to speak about parents and to distinguish between fathers and mothers. Pay attention to verse one. Children, obey your parents. He uses specifically better the word parents there. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

And in verse two, he separates fathers and mothers. He says, honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment which I promise. And then he says in verse four, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Is everything that I've said up to this point applicable to all parents?

Of course it is. The principle of responsibility that we have is a principle that is carried by the mother and by the father. But here the focus that Paul is given or that God is given is to the fathers. Why is he giving this focus to the fathers? Well, because he has explained about the nature of marriage in the previous verses.

He has said the husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and the wives are to submit to their husbands as they submit to the Lord. Paul has already stated the headship of the man over the woman when it comes to marriage. And he now continues with that. And he establishes the headship of the father in the household, whether we like it or whether we don't. And I think that if we are in the spirit of Jesus Christ, we do like it.

And that is that the design of God for the family is that the man is the head of the household, the man is the head of the woman, and the man is the head of the whole house. And then he says the authority and the responsibility of the children, of course, they are with the wife and they are with the husband, but ultimately the one that carries the authority of the household is the father. That's why, if you come with me to 1 Timothy, chapter 3, when Paul is speaking about the requirements of an elder to Timothy, he says that the elder or the pastor in a church is one that needs to be able to rule or to govern the household well. If you go to 1 Timothy, chapter 3, verse 4 and 5, he says, he must manage, speaking of the men, He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive. Verse 5, For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?

Of course, here, this is a principle that is given to the elder for the management of the things of the household of the Lord. But the principle is one that applies to Christian men. Christian men are meant to rule or to govern or to lead, if you want, whatever word is easier for us to hear, to lead their household well. The husband is the head of the wife and the head of the household. And in following the God-given order, there is a blessing.

My dear brother, understand the great responsibility that you have in your house, not only to lead your wife, but also for you not to provoke your children to wrath, but to bring them up in the admonition and in the nurture of the Lord. It is ultimately your responsibility to be the one that is not passive, that is not lazy, that is wasting your time in things that are not productive, but that you are active. in providing spiritually for your house, caring spiritually for your wife, caring spiritually for your children. Not that you forget when they turn five or six year old, when they were born or where they study. What is that?

But rather that you understand your child. that you speak to your child, that you spend time with your child, that you know if they're reading the scriptures or they're not, that you know what are the struggles of your child, that you speak to their heart, as you say in English, heart to heart to your child. This is not a woman thing. This is a Christ thing. And if Christ is in us, then we can relate in that way to our children.

We can love them. We can hug them. We can kiss them. We can bring them in to embrace them. We can have them in our presence.

We can enjoy them, discipline and guide them. And we can know where their minds are and where their hearts are. Brothers, you who have children, where is the heart of your firstborn? Where is the mind of your second born? Where is the mind, what are the struggles of your daughter?

What are the difficulties of your son? Have you been so busy that you no longer know? What are the difficulties of the heart of your children? Have you been so busy perhaps accumulating this, or busy doing that, that you no longer know, if perhaps you're reading the scriptures? You no longer know if they're having struggles in their faith.

You no longer know, perhaps, if they are struggling with something. The moment that we distance ourselves in the heart from our children is the moment in which someone else has already won the battle for the souls of them. The moment in which we separate ourselves from the affections of our child is the moment in which someone else has won that battle over their soul. It might be a matter of one, five, or 10 years for that to be revealed in the life of your child, but the moment that we lose that connection to the heart of our children is the moment that we've lost them, brethren. That's why, just as those little plants that we have in the balcony that die every couple of days because we don't put water in them, so the child, if we don't constantly put water on them and nurture them, one day they will grow in such a way that I no longer understand.

I never saw that branch that was coming there. Seems to be okay. I never saw that branch that is there. Wife, tell me, when did that happen? When did that happen, brothers?

We have a responsibility over our children. And if the price of caring for our children is to have a humble life, why wouldn't you choose a humble life? If the price of being careful and following your children is not to go out every week to restaurants and to spend so much money, why wouldn't you sacrifice a meal or two to spend time with your child? If the price of spending time with your wife and your children in such a way is perhaps not to have the new car or a better house or a better employment or a better clothes, wouldn't you sacrifice that for your child, brother, Where is the importance in your hearts? Is it on the things that are passing away, or the things of the soul of our children?

It says, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the admonition, or bring them up in the nurture, in the admonition of the Lord. The nature of it is spiritual. The extent of it, negative, do not provoke them to anger and positively to bring them up in the admonition of the Lord. The focus of it, the Father, because the Father is to reflect the Lord Jesus Christ. How are we going to reflect the Lord Jesus Christ?

What Paul has already given us there in verse 25, if you pay attention to these four things that Paul gives us of fathers, or husbands better. It says, verse 25, husbands, Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. The first two items in verse 25, love and sacrifice. Men are to reflect to their wives and their households these first two things. Love, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

And sacrifice, he gave himself up for her. Men are supposed to be men, knowing muscles is strong. If you can be, be strong and be many muscles. But more importantly than that is that we are to love and that we are to sacrifice, verse 26, that he may sanctify her, that is the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. Christ did not only love the bride and sacrifice for her, but he is working in her.

He's discipling her. He's using the word to cleanse her, to work on her. So the husband, or the one that is in the house, is one that is to love. He's one that is to sacrifice, and one that is to work in his bride. He's one that is to be diligent in his household, just as Christ is diligent in his bride in the church.

So the man, a real Christian man, He is the one that is diligent in loving his bride, loving his children, in sacrificing himself for her and them, and working in them, sanctifying them, cleansing them through the work, what for the purpose that Christ has for the bride. Verse 27, So that he, that is Christ, may present the church to himself in splendor, without sport or wrinkle, when it is such a thing, that she may be holy and without blemish. Just as Christ is the best husband to the church, we men are meant to be biblical husbands to our wives and fathers to our children, in which we love them, in which we sacrifice ourselves for them, we guide them, we work in them, and we give them a point of direction. The point of direction for the church is to be with Christ when all of these things pass. The point of direction of our household should be the same.

to become like Jesus, and that my children see that what I see from the pulpit is consistent with what happens in my life. Otherwise, the definition of that is hypocrisy. If I say with my mouth that I believe in Jesus or that I follow the Lord, and their main behavior towards them or towards my wife is distant or separated from the things that I say. That is equal to hypocrisy, whether it's in me or in any other person. That is that we are to be consistent in the things that we say that we believe and the way that we live our lives.

Because the greatest ministry here, my dear brother and sister, does not happen on a Sunday when we come together. It does, it is great that we come together as a people of God. But you see that this gathering of the saints with absence of Christ in your heart from Monday to Sunday 2 p.m. makes this meaningless, makes this religion, makes this vain, makes this fleshly.

This without Christ is empty. And Christ is not someone that appears in our hearts on Tuesday or Sunday 3 p.m. Christ is meant to be ruling our lives. So, brothers, we are to be men of love.

We are to be men of sacrifice. We are to be men that disciple our bride in our households. And we are men that are to give our households direction. This is not the ultimate or final responsibility of your wife. If the Lord has given you a wife that knows the Scripture and is always wanting to bring your children to the feet of the Lord, praise God for that.

But my dear brother and sister, or better, brother, if you become the additional child, If you become the other child that is just simply 40 or 50 year old, that has to be taken, that has to be drawn, that has to be encouraged, my dear brother, you're affecting not only yourself, you're affecting your marriage, and you're affecting your children. We are to be men that take leadership in love, in sacrifice, in direction, and in discipleship. And that requires that we are not men of the flesh, but that we are men of the Lord. That speaks of our standard there if we return to Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4. Ephesians 6, verse 4, once again, spoken about the nature, spiritual, the extent, do not provoke, but bring them up in admonition.

The focus of these, this is the fathers, and the standard of these is the Lord. It says, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. nor my instruction, nor the instruction of my wife, nor the instruction of this psychological ethical program that I read, and I've seen the reviews online that say they are so good if we follow these five steps so that our household will become a better place to live, or not this psychological program that says, how can I be a better man inside of my house, but rather the standard of the Lord? The teaching is the teaching of the Lord. The admonition is the admonition of the Lord.

The nurturing is the nurturing of the Lord. So then that means that primarily we parents and more particularly brothers, we are to be men of Christ. We are to be men of the Word, and we are to be men of Jesus Christ. We are to be followers of Christ, that is, that we are to be truly saved by grace through faith, and by being truly saved by grace through faith, we are to be men of Jesus Christ. So that the more that I spend my days, the less that is of me and the more that is of Christ, because that which is the best for my wife and my children is that I die and that Jesus Christ will prevail in me.

And that is the best thing that also that can happen to your household, that you, brother, die and that Jesus Christ is in you. This is the best thing that can happen to your wife and the best thing that can happen to your children. The standard is the Lord. And because the standard is the Lord, as we read in 2 Timothy chapter 3, then the Scriptures are going to become your primary tool of action. Not just simply a mystical way of saying, Christ Jesus, and that's it.

But the way that you become a better Christian man, it is through the principle of the Scriptures. Run away just simply by getting used to do certain things in the way that other Christians do, but rather be a man that comes to Christ and says, Lord, reveal in me those things that are not, and please change them for the things that should be according to your word. because my family, my wife, my children are in necessity, that I will not respond to my impatience, that I will not respond in the intensity of my words, that I will not respond in an unbalanced way, but rather that I will nurture them in the training, in the admonition of the Lord, that when I correct them, I correct them for the purpose not to fulfill my anger and my emotions, but rather because I care for his or her soul so much that I want to bring correction to my child, so that the outcome of the correction is not only that I've told them the thing that is wrong, but the outcome of the correction is that I also love you. And independently of the discipline that I've just given you, I love you, and what you've done does not change the fact that I love you, and I will continue to love you, and you always can come to me because I love you. That is the standard of Christ.

That is the standard of the cross, that even though we are rebellious children, that even though there are so many things in us that deviate us from the path of the Lord, Christ is always there. The gospel is always sufficient, and he is always enough, and he is the one that exercises authority over us. perfectly, and we are the ones that respond imperfectly to the perfect authority of God. But He continues to be there in His patience and in His love. And if we failed as fathers, as we will, and if we failed as mothers, as we will, there is one who is the perfect father to whom we can see and rest in Him and learn from Him so that we can be the fathers and the mothers to our children that they deserve.

Now, my dear brother and sister, I know that this may be a lot, and this may sound a lot, but please do not fall into the trap of believing that just simply being a good father or a good mother, it is something that happens just by practice. Being a good father and being a good mother, it is only something that happens by the grace of God in the presence of Jesus Christ. John chapter 15 says, apart from me you can do, Nothing. If we want to be fathers, if we want to be mothers, we need to be in Christ, abide in Him, depend on Him, rely on Him, to die to our pride that tells us that we know, to die to the pride that tells us that we can find a way, but rather to be humble and to come before the presence of the Lord and to do it for His glory. Not to do it so that I'm not embarrassed in church with the behavior of my children, or just to be like the others in the church.

That is not a reason, brother. The reason why we want to nurture and bring our children in the ways of the Lord, it is because it's the glory of God. Not because I want to feel right about myself and look at my parenting system and structure, how it works. This is the result. You follow Nelson's parenting system and this is the result.

So please worship me in what you see and in my ways. Brethren, that is of the flesh. The reason why we nurture our children and the reason why we disciple our children is for the glory of the Lord. Not because I want to be accepted in a certain group of Christians that look in a particular way and I just need to look in a similar way to them. Otherwise, there is this gap that makes me feel uncomfortable.

This is, you know, social proof of confirmation, social confirmation, but rather because you want to honor the Lord. And this is the lesson that we ought to learn. We ought to be faithful in what the Lord has called us to be, because the outcome, brethren, does not depend on our faithfulness or the lack of it. The outcome depends upon the sovereignty of God himself. There's going to be times in which you've done everything that you had to do, and the outcome is going to be that your child is going to rebel against you and the ways of the Lord.

And we ought to do simply what we have been called to do, being faithful in what God has instructed us to do. The rest is left in the hands of the Lord. We pray and we bring our children in the things of the Lord, but the outcome is left in the hands of the Lord. We acknowledge and recognize that salvation is of the Lord and that He is the one that can work out of these things, but we ought to be faithful in the things that Christ has given us to do. May the Lord does not bring upon you a burden of guilt, brethren, because that is not the purpose of the things that have been said, but rather that by the Holy Spirit we will see an acknowledgment of how feeble and limited we are and how much we depend upon Christ Jesus.

Certainly, nobody is speaking from a place of having accomplished it, but rather a place of need and weakness in which we all, as fathers and mothers, we need to come to Christ and depend upon Him that He may lead us in this great responsibility that we have towards our children. Brother, sister, may the Lord save all of our children in due time, and may the Lord be merciful to our families in giving us this genuine sense of how feeble and weak we are, so that we will not walk in the pride of our flesh, but rather that we will depend upon the Lord Jesus, and through his word, Perhaps, just perhaps, we will give the fruit of biblical families, biblical marriages, and that our children will be for the glory of God. Amen? Amen. Let us pray.

Father, I praise you, Lord, for your word and for your truth. I ask, Lord, please, that you will bless us and that you will grant us a genuine desire to live our lives in Christ Jesus, to abound in you, Lord, in your grace and in your mercy. We do want to pray, Lord, for our children, each one of them, those who are here present and those who are not. I pray, Lord, for their souls. I pray for their lives.

We give you thanks, Lord, for each one of them, each one of our children, Lord. We praise you for the ones that you've given us and the ones that you have not given us, Lord. We praise you, Lord, for our firstborn, our secondborn, our thirdborn, our fourthborn, our fifthborn, whatever is the amount of children that you have given us, Lord. We bring them, each one of them, before you even as we pray now. I give you thanks, Lord, for everything that they are, everything that they do.

Lord, we praise you, Lord, for the gifts that you have given them and the gifts that you have not given them, Lord. If some of our children are in Christ already, Lord, we praise you for that. And we give you thanks for their lives and bringing them to Jesus. We praise you and we give you thanks for that. And if our children, Lord, are still not in Jesus and in Christ, we bring them before you, Lord.

And we pray and we ask, Lord, that you will be merciful towards them. We bring them before you, Lord, and the many words that we've said and the scriptures that we read and the things that we've shared with them, Lord, will be benefit for our children. Lord, we want to bring before you the parents, the fathers, and the mothers in here in Cornerstone. You know how weak and feeble we are. How easily distracted we are with the things of this world.

How easily distracted we are, Lord. We ask that you will forgive us, Lord, for the many times that we have not done the things that we should have done. We ask that you will forgive us, Lord, for the many times that we have responded to our children in ways that we were not supposed to respond. We pray, Lord, that you will forgive us for our impatience. that you will forgive us for our negligence many times, Lord.

We pray that you will forgive us, Lord, for not caring for us as men. Lord, we pray that you will forgive us for the many times in which we have been tired or mentally exhausted. And in the tiredness of our bodies, of our minds, we have made that an excuse to remove ourselves from our wives or our children. I pray, Lord, that you will forgive us for the many times that we should have been there present and we were not. We pray, Lord, that even in all of those mistakes that we have made and the sins that we have committed, Lord, that you will be merciful to our children, that you will keep them and guide them.

We thank you, Lord, for the blessing that they are to us. and we entrust them and we put them in your hands, Lord. I pray for the sisters, Lord, I pray that you will strengthen them, empower them to be the wives and the mothers that they are supposed to be. Those who are to be mothers and those who are to be wives, I pray, Lord, that you will grant them that, more of Christ. Protect us, Lord, from understanding all of the things that have been said are just simply commandments to be followed.

But rather, Lord, help us, Lord, to know that we depend upon Christ to fulfill these things. I pray, Lord, for the single, the one that is not married, and perhaps to be married soon. Lord, I pray that you will protect them, guide them, and give them discernment. I pray, Lord, they will form to marriages, biblical marriages, with biblical men and biblical wives. Not perfect, Lord, but just those who desire to follow you and to abide in your words and in your ways.

I pray, O Lord, for even those brothers and sisters that perhaps may not have children and may never have children, Lord, that they will know how to pray for the families and the husbands and the wives in our congregation. I pray for the fathers and mothers, perhaps, that already their sons and daughters are grown up and they are no longer with them, that they will also pray and be an example to the younger parents in our congregation. Lord, as we look back and we see the many mistakes that we have made and those mistakes and things that cannot be solved and cannot be fixed, that we will not be burdened by a guilt of the past, but rather that we will rest in your sovereignty, not that we can change the past, but rather, Lord, that we can be faithful in what you've called us to do today. So I pray, O Lord, that the outcome of these truths and the things that we've said will be not only that you reveal to us our feebleness and limitations and how much we depend upon Christ, but also that will be an outcome in which our children are drawn to you through your word. Protect them, O Lord, as they go to school or as they go to whatever place they go, as they interact with other things.

Protect them, Lord, please, of the things of this world. We certainly don't want to put them and cut them off and separate them from the things that they ought to do, but we do pray, Lord, that you will protect them, that you will guide them, Lord. Their minds, their eyes, I pray that you will protect the teenagers as they are growing and thinking and considering other important matters of life, Lord, I pray that you will protect them in their thoughts. Help us, Lord, to love them. Help us, Lord, please, not to act in our authority in a way that provokes them to anger or to wrath, but help us, Lord, please, to bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

Help us, Lord, and teach us, Lord, these ways, your ways, so that we can do that for our children. We bless you and we give you thanks, Lord, for the children that you have provided among us, Lord, for those who are little, those who are in the womb, those who are newly born, those who are just one or two-year-old, three-year-old. We pray for all the little ones and we pray for the ones that are young, the young adults, Lord, 12, 13, 14, and 16, whatever their age is, Lord, we praise you for them. help us and show us the treasure that they are to us, and help us, Lord, to be diligent. We pray, Lord, for the brothers who may see a sister that is struggling and might not have a husband, that we will all take that responsibility of guiding and caring, or where we may see a brother perhaps does not have a wife, and that we all will also see our duty to pray and to support and to Come around to our brothers and sisters to help us, Lord.

I pray that you will forgive anything that has been said in a tone that is not meant to be, or a way that is not clear. And I pray only, Lord, that your word will be communicated to your people. Bless us, Lord, now as we partake of the table, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.