Duty of Husbands to Wives

Okay, so by God's grace, we're going to continue with our series of studies on these things that we were considering from last week, the characteristics of a biblical family. My Lord, help us. Today we're going to be studied together. Verse 25 of Chapter five of the Book of Ephesians. Today we're going to be speaking about the spiritual duty the husbands have to their wives.

And if you pay attention to verse 25, that spiritual duty that husbands have to their wives is the spiritual duty of love. There is a clear commandment that is stated there in verse 25 and also in verse 28. If you pay attention there just briefly to that verse, it says, Husbands, love your wives. In verse 28, it says in the same way, that is the way of Christ, husbands should love their wives. I want us to consider this afternoon, I hope by God's grace and within the truth of the scriptures, this spiritual duty that husbands have towards their wives and that is to love them.

And perhaps some of you may be thinking, well, I'm not a husband. I'm actually a woman. What is the benefit of this in all of these studies that we're doing together? Oh, I'm not married. I don't have a wife.

Or whatever situation you may be in that you may feel that this does not speak to you. Please simply remember what the Scripture says, that all the Scripture has been given by the inspiration of God. It's God breathed. And because he comes from the life of God, all his scripture is profitable, always useful for our teaching, for a reproof for our correction on our training in righteousness that the men of the men of God may be fully prepared, fully equipped for every good work. And of course, Paul is speaking to Timothy in his role as a pastor that he will be.

fully equipped with the word of the Lord to minister as a pastor in the immediate context. But the principle is the same for all Christians, because God is alive and his word is his word is alive. When we receive the word of the Lord, the word of the Lord is going to be profitable, useful for us. Not only because it is true, it is true, but also because he's the life of God. himself.

So if we receive the word of the Lord that is going to be profitable, it's going to equip us, is going to prepare us, is going to give us what we need to live our lives to the glory of God. And we pray that the Lord will help us to be husbands, that we love our wives in the way that we ought to love them. We pray that the single women among us will find husbands, that they will love them in the way of the Lord, that we will have a biblical understanding of love and not an understanding of love that comes from the world. So it is a difficult task. I'm going to ask you that you will help me as we pray together and come to the Lord.

And as we examine that verse 25 and that section there of the 5th chapter of the Book of Ephesians, let us pray together and come before the Lord. Father, we come before You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Lord, we give You thanks for Your providence, Your sovereignty, Your decree, Your goodness, Lord, that on this day we should have received the fullness of Your wrath upon us. But it was not given to us, not because we are good, not because of our works or our deeds that we did during this week or even on this day, only because of the finished and completed and sufficient work of the of the Lord Jesus Christ. So, Lord, we pray that you will help us to be humble as we come before your presence and as we consider the things of the scriptures and as we consider your word or their We're so easily tempted to do these things in the flesh and just simply just to be religious in the way that we relate to you and just to take a box when I Sunday on coming to church and just simply a piece in our conscience with religious things that we ask for Lord, that this will not be your heart, that this will not be the intentions of our souls, but rather Lord, that in the simplicity of what we do here and the weakness, even of our words and our ways, Lord, that your power will be manifested through your word in the life of my brothers, my sisters, and everyone that is among us, Lord.

I pray that you will bless them, Lord, with your truth. I pray that the husbands here will not only be confronted or exhorted, but more importantly, they will be encouraged to trust in Christ, to abide in Christ, to depend upon Christ. They will know that apart from Christ, they cannot fulfill the role as husbands. And I pray also for my sisters who are wives. I also pray, Lord.

that you will grant them the patience as they endure with us feeble, weak men that fall short in many different ways, Lord, that you will give them the patience and the endurance that is needed for them to be with us as we walk together in the path that you have given us of marriage. I pray for my brothers who are single, perhaps in the desire and in the pursuit of being married to a woman. I pray, Lord, that as they consider the truths that we have here before us in Ephesians chapter five, that their hearts will be inclined to wanting to to be the men that God wants them to be. When there are so many voices in this world that speak to them about what a man should be, that they will hear the voice of God through the word and that they will be men of God so that they will be able to, by the power of the spirit, to love their wives, their future wives for your glory. I pray for the sisters who are present here who are not married and perhaps in the desire or pursue of being married.

I also pray, Lord, that the study that we have of the Scriptures will encourage them to pray for a man that will come their way, a man according to the Scriptures, that when the flesh and the things of this world will speak so many things about what a man should be, that they will pursue a man that is Christ, that Christ is in him. So help us, Lord, to understand your ways to understand your will for the family, to understand your will for the husbands, for the wives, for the children, and that we will do just a little bit of good by your grace, that we will be servants that are useful or for your glory. I pray for the brothers and sisters who perhaps may feel that they have no part in this conversation. Perhaps they are not in marriage and they will not be, or perhaps they are divorced and separated, or perhaps their husbands or wives have died, that even there will be benefit in the truth of the word for them, Lord, that we will learn to know and to discern what it is a biblical man, a biblical woman, a biblical family, and that we will know how to pray for each other, that we will know how to desire for each other, Lord, the things that are the things of the Lord to help us, please guide us and protect us from our emotions, protect us, Lord, from our Feelings protect us from our corruption of the truth and guide us, Lord, in the truth of God. I pray that you will do this in Jesus name.

Amen. Very good, brethren. Ephesians chapter five. We're going to be addressing that verse 25 there, in which, as I said, there is a spiritual duty. of husbands towards their wives.

And it's very clearly given to us there. Verse 25. The husbands meant to love their wives. We're gonna be reading together from verse 25 reverse 33. May the Lord bless the reading of his word.

This is going to give us the context of the context of that verse 25. And not only we will read it, but we will understand it and that the Lord will apply these words to our hearts. as we read it by the Holy Spirit. This is Ephesians chapter five, verse 25. I'm reading from the English Standard Version of the Bible.

This is the word of the Lord. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, that he, that is Christ, may sanctify her. That is the church having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he that is Christ might present the church to himself in a splendor. without spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she... That she, that is the church.

"...that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way... That is in the way of Christ. "...

in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers or concerning to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you that is the brothers love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Amen. This is the word of the Lord. And as I said, my dear brother, my dear sister, My dear child or children here within the sound of my voice today, I want us to consider the truth that we have there in verse 25, and that is this spiritual duty that husbands, that the Christian husband has to their wives. This is speaking to the Christian men. Independently that your wife is a Christian or not, the Christian men has a spiritual duty before the Lord, and that spiritual duty summarized there very clearly with the word love.

We ought to love the woman that the Lord has placed next to us. And this is in light of that thought that I wanted to share with you last week. That many times we think that the way that we are faithful in the things of the Lord is doing all of these big things, you know, like trying to find a solution for the problems of the government or trying to find a solution for the problems of the broader Christianity, or trying to find a solution to the problems of the country in which we live. And while it is good that God has blessed us with means by which we can know what is going on on the other side of the world, and that we can be informed of all the things that happen within Christianity, my dear brother and sister, our calling is actually very simple. We are to trust and obey the Lord and get of Christ Jesus in us and to minister of Christ to those whom the Lord has placed providentially around us.

Should we be concerned about what is going on on the other side of the world? Perhaps yes, just to pray for that and to bring it before the Lord. But our main responsibility and our main calling many times neglected for that overly attention that we give to certain things happens to be seated next to us, happens to wake up sometimes in the morning. So I hope every morning next to us or our Children or our family. This is what they call the Lord has called us to be faithful in.

And let me submit to you, my dear brother and sister, that if Christians would get to the Lord, come to the feet of the Lord to ask for the grave that is needed to be a biblical husband, to be a biblical wife, to be biblical parents. And if we are children in the Lord to respect and to obey our parents, much of the kingdom of Christ will be advanced. When we think that the kingdom of Christ is advanced with big conferences and people coming in multitudes and doing all of those things, brethren, The kingdom of Christ is advanced in the simplicity and in the privacy of your home, loving your wife and caring for her, loving your husband and caring for him, loving your Children and the people that God has placed around you. Those brothers and sisters in the context of the church, in the context of the simplicity of the Christian life. And that is what I want us to consider as we do this study of the characteristics of a biblical family.

That in the midst of all of this confusion and all of this chaos of things that happen in life, that yes, we do need to pay attention to all of that. That we will know that 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 years are going to pass. And when we die, the only thing that will matter will be that we are in Christ Jesus. And that the things that we have done with our 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 years would have been for the Lord, for the people that got placed around us, our family, our church and the community in which the Lord placed us in reaching the person that is lost and not in Christ. So that when we look back, even though our names are going to be forgotten, your name is going to be forgotten.

Nobody's going to remember you after 10 or 20 years that you have died. Your name is going to be forgotten. Not even your family will remember. They will remember you for the first few years and then remember, you know, remember my dad and remember my grandfather or just remember my uncle. Then you will be forgotten.

That the things that will be remembered or that the things that will be left will be the things that we've done for Jesus Christ. And that is just to raise our children as he has called us to, to love our wives, to be in the context of our families and to be blessed in that. When we have a world that speaks to us, there's all of these pursuits that we have to be so big that we have to accomplish all of these things. Brethren, the one that is accomplished or the one that is successful is the one who has done the will of God for his life in believing in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and being a little bit Christ like to the people that God has placed around us. So my Lord help us to do that last week.

So we started with this study trying to consider the spiritual duty that we have to our Children. And as I said to you from verse four, there is I added responsibility to the men to the fathers. Fathers have any spiritual responsibility to their Children. That is spiritual responsibility is that with the God given authority, they will use the God given authority to nurture the child. You remember the example that I gave you of a plant, a plant that receives water and sun.

So the father or the parents are to nurture the child to bring them up. in the nurture and in the admonition of the Lord. That is, to positively guide them in the things of the Lord. And when they deviate from the things of the Lord, to admonish them and to bring correction in the things of the Lord. And to use the God-given authority in the love and in the righteousness of God, according to the ministry of the Word of the Lord.

This afternoon, I want us to consider the responsibility, once again, the fathers or the male parents, the fathers, the husbands have now to their wives. And that is found there in verse 25. And then you will see, brothers, that we are putting preeminence to the men initially. That's not because we want to pick on men, but rather because, as we said last week, there's an important responsibility on men. The design that God has given for the families that men will be the head of the household.

And we need to acknowledge that the design of the Lord for marriage and the design of the Lord for the household is perfect. And even though we may hear so many things from the world that calls us to be something that we are not, or many times called biblical masculinity as toxic masculinity, my dear brother and sister, we have to submit to the things that are written in the Scriptures. And the closer that we come to God and to His Word, the more that we're going to be fulfilling the purpose of the one who loved us and created us, and the ultimate goal that He gave us was to glorify Him. So this afternoon, as I said, we're gonna be considering their verse 25. This is spiritual duty that husbands have to their wives.

And if we were going to summarize it in one word, just simply love. You can see there very clearly that the responsibility of the duty that we have He's the responsibility of love. I want us to do three or four things with these words that are going to help us. I hope to go deep into the meaning of what Paul says here on what Paul will also say in Philippians chapter two, which I think is gonna help us understand the meaning of this love. First, I want us to consider what is this love?

What is the meaning of this love? But what is it, this love, that we are supposed to have for our wives? Once we have given just a brief definition of what is this love, this duty that we have towards our wives, then I want us to see two important characteristics that Paul gives us of this love that we have to have for our wives, characteristics of this love. And after that, Paul is also going to tell us not only what this love is and what the characteristics are, but also Paul tells us what this love, the love of Christ, that is supposed to be the love of the husband for the wife, what this love does. So what is this love?

What are the characteristics of this love? And what does this love do? Or what does this love? What is the action of the love? What does it do?

And then finally, if the Lord allows us and gives us time, how do we love? Our wives in the way that is stated here, my Lord, help us and guide us as we consider these. Let's start with the first one. What is this love? You see, they're very clearly in verse 25 and also in verse 28.

Those two verses are going to be parallel to each other that the commandment that God give married men, Christian men, is to love their wives. We have there in verse 25, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. And in verse 28, we have the parallel verse that says, in the same way, that is in the way of Christ, husbands should love their wives. The first thing that we need to note and that we need to remember, brothers and everyone within the sounds of my voice, is that this is a spiritual duty. There is one commandment that is given in all of these sections from verse 25 to verse 33.

And that commandment is that we must love our wives. It's not a suggestion. It is not a recommendation. It's not something that just simply God is saying that we could do or it would be good if you love your wives. But rather, what we have here is a spiritual duty, a commandment, a commandment that is meant to be followed.

And this is very important. Because many times we think about love as this transaction of emotions. I love you and you love me, but I do not have the obligation to love you. When it comes to this Christian love, this is a duty that we have primarily before the Lord. If we do not love our wives, then we're not only affecting them with the lack of our affection and love.

But when it comes to the Scriptures, then we're breaking the commandment of the Lord that says that Christian men must love their wives. So we ought to know that this love is, first of all, a spiritual duty that is meant to be obeyed. And in everything with obedience in the Scriptures, we cannot obey in and of ourselves. We need the power of the Holy Spirit that leads us to hear the commandments of the Lord. And by hearing the commandments of the Lord, the spirit of Christ in us is the one that leads us to fulfill the commandment that has been given in this case, this commandment of loving our wives.

The apostle is going to give us two characteristics of this spiritual duty that we have. The first one is going to be summarizing the word Christ. If someone was going to ask you what is the main characteristic of love, the love that the husband is meant supposed to is supposed to have for the wife, then the main definition of that love is going to be Christ. And of course, I cannot use the noun. I have to make it an adjective.

So we're gonna say that is Christian love, the type of love that the husband is supposed to have for the wife, is not just love in a human sense, is Christian love, who is the love of Christ. That is clearly stated in verse 25 and verse 28. It says, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Verse 28, 25 and 28. In the same way, it says, that is in the way of Christ.

Husbands should love their wives. So this is spiritual duty that we husbands will have towards their wives is, first of all, Christian love. It's not a love that is a human love, but it's a Christian love. And the main characteristic of this Christian love is that it's not human love, but rather that is divine love. That is the love that God has manifested to us in the person of Jesus Christ by sending His Son to die upon the cross for our sins.

And in that, we see the greatness of God's love. And when you realize that He has loved you so much, and that you are a sinner, that you deserve hell, but you do not receive hell. Not because you are good, not because you're religious, not because you have fixed yourself. But when you realize that you receive the love of God purely by and from His grace, Then you're impacted so heavily and so deeply in your heart that your response is one of love to Him. How can you love me in such a way if I'm such a sinner?

But he says, I love you. And the way that I have loved you is that I sent my son to die upon the cross for you. And even though you're a sinner, even though you deserve the wrath of God, now I call you my child. Come. You're forgiven, you're received, you're accepted in the Beloved, you become part of the family of God.

And once the person has received the revelation of the love of God in Christ Jesus, the only outcome of it is that we love others. That's what the Apostle says in 1 John chapter 4. We love because He first loved us. Love to others is a manifestation of better. Christian love is a manifestation of the revelation of God's love in the person of Jesus Christ to others, in this case, particularly to our wives.

So the love that we ought to have for our wives is, first of all, a Christian love that is not rooted, is not centered in who the person is, but is initiated in who God is and what He has done. The love of the world is transactional and depends upon the emotions that you give me. whatever you provide to me, whatever I observe in you, and if that is good, then I'm going to love you. If you're beautiful, then I consider that as positive and I love you. If you're emotionally like me, then I see that as positive and I love you.

If you are the person that I want to be with, then I love you. And when those features, those characteristics pass away, they are no longer present, then human love disappears. When the person is no longer attractive, or when the person is no longer interesting, or when conflict starts to arise between the couple or between the people, then when things that were the root or the source of the emotion start to disappear, then human love disappears. Divine love is not contingent upon that which the person has. Christian love is contingent upon who God is and what God has done in the person of Jesus Christ.

Christ Jesus did not come to die for the church because the church was beautiful and filled of all of these attributes and characteristics that he was there in heaven in his glory. And he said, I cannot contain myself. I have to go down to visit this beautiful bride that deserves my presence. It was the opposite. The bride is sinful and righteous, that is the church, broken.

And God manifested His love that in that brokenness, He sent His Son to die for that bride. That is divine love that is not contingent upon the other, that is dependent upon who God is and what He has done. This is Christian love. different to the love of the world. And while it is true that a Buddhist or a Muslim couple that marry in the Middle East or in India or whatever, what it is true that when a man and a woman come together, they enter in a genuine marriage.

Let me submit to you, my dear brother and sister, that the only way that the purpose of marriage can be fulfilled... I hope that that makes sense in English. I hope that that makes sense. That the purpose for which marriage was created can only be fulfilled when Christ is the center of that marriage. Because we are told very clearly here in Ephesians chapter five that the purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ Jesus and the church.

Is it true that when Muslims or Catholics that are not in Christ or when other person that is not in Christ, they come together? That's a marriage? It is a marriage, but it's not a marriage that will fulfill the purpose for which it was created. Nothing here on earth was in pictures that which is to come. Because the love that the husband is meant to have for the wife is meant to come from Christ himself.

It is a Christian love. And second, the second characteristic of this love, that is a duty that we have, is not only that it's a Christian love, that is the type of love of Christ, but of course, very clearly here we see that it's sacrificial in nature. It says, verse 25, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. and gave himself up for her. Here, the implicit thought of the apostle is that the way that the love of Christ was manifested to the church was in a sacrificial way.

So husbands, in their duty to their wives, they are supposed to love them with this Christian love that is not rooted in my wife and how she looks like or what she does, but rather I love her because God has loved me first in Christ Jesus and the love that I have Now I can have in my heart love towards her, independently of what happens with her. Because this covenant that we have, even though we enter into it because we love each other and thinks about each other. Now this covenant of marriage has a meaning that goes beyond the present time. And I love her because he loved me first. And because of that love, I'm going to live a sacrificial life for her.

This is what Paul says the husbands are supposed to be. That we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and as He sacrificed Himself for the church. So in that way, verse 28, we are to love our wives. How? In a sacrificial way.

That is that we do not look out for our own interest, brothers, we look for the interest of other and that other is our wives. This idea of a of sacrifice here that we have in verse 25 is so glorious because we may think that the apostle is referring only to the going up to the cross But the idea that the apostle has in mind, which he explains there in verse 31, and then in Philippians, I think, is this idea of the son leaving the father. You see how it says in verse 25, "...husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Does that include His death upon the cross?

Of course, that includes His death upon the cross. But it's more the giving over of self literally means there. That the Son of God gave Himself over. He surrendered Himself over for the church. And that giving of self was not something, brethren, that started upon the cross.

The sacrifice of Christ for the bride did not start upon the cross. It started in the moment that the Son left the presence of the Father to come to this world in the likeness of one of us to sacrifice himself for the bride. That's why the apostle says there in verse 31, speaking of marriage, Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and also hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Why is the man supposed to leave the parents and to become one flesh with the wife? Not because God wanted to ordain it that way, but because the Son did that.

The son left his glory to come into this world in the likeness of us, came to sacrifice himself lovingly to come and be united in oneness with the bride that did not deserve to be united with the son. And in this separation, if you want, of the son from the father of his previous glory, then he comes and he's united in one flesh with the bride. Of course, we know that the Son does not lose His glory, or that He changes, or that there's some sense of mutability in the Son. The Son is the Son and He's God, and He remains immutably God. But there is something that happens in coming down to make Himself like one of us and to become like one flesh.

From that moment in which the sun comes is that the sacrifice of Jesus Christ starts on the text tells us that we are to love our wives sacrificially in the same way that Jesus Christ love the church. So the question is, how can I sacrifice myself in the way that Christ Jesus sacrificed himself for the church? And that's why I think that if we come to Philippians chapter two, we have the glorious passage of this humility of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice in this beautiful passage that we have in Philippians chapter two. We have up to this point that the spiritual duty the husbands have to the wives is to love them. And this is not a suggestion.

This is not a recommendation. But this love is a commandment. When we do not love our wives, we're not only affecting them, but we're breaking the commandment that the Lord has given us. These are spiritual duty. The most important thing that we need to know about this spiritual duty is that it's Christian in nature.

He's not human, he's Christian in nature. We ought to love our women with the love of Christ, with the love that comes from above. And this love is primarily sacrificial love. It's not transactional, in which I give, you give me, and as long as we keep the transaction going, and as long as I feel that you're giving me enough for me to give you, then we're all good. But when I feel that I'm giving too much and you're not giving, Bye bye, because I feel uncomfortable about the situation in which I give, I give, I give, I give, and you don't give.

No, it's a sacrificial love, just like Christ came to die. So what is a sacrificial love? We have this beautiful passage in Philippians chapter two that it says from verse five, have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant been born in the likeness of men, and been found in human form. He, that is Christ, humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven.

This bow there, the right bow. Heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confessed that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father here We have the picture of this giving of the Sun. How are we supposed to love our wives? We are supposed to love our wives as Christ is Love the church, and he gave himself up for her. How did the Lord Jesus Christ gave himself up for the church?

He gave himself up not only upon the cross, but his sacrifices started even when he first was obedient to the word of the Father. When from eternity past, the Father said, I have these people unto myself, and the only way that they can be rescued from their sins is if you go and then you die for them. Yes, Father, I go and I'm obedient to the word of the Father and the alignment in the will of the Son and the will of the Father. Then the Father gives himself. He does not count equality with God as something to be grasped, as something to be taken, but rather he comes down in the likeness of men.

What did he do first? He was obedient to the eternal decree of the Father. In our minds and in our flesh, there could be many reasons why God or why Jesus could have not come or should have not come. He was in glory. He did not need to come, but he was obedient to the triune decree of redemption.

He humbled himself, so we are told there in verse 6, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men. love that is christian and sacrificial requires that we do not count our worth as something to hold but rather to give ourselves entirely for the person for whom we are sacrificing in this case our wives just as christ did not count equality with god as something to be grasped by him gave himself and become like one of us in that way we are also to give ourselves up just as Christ Jesus gave himself up for the church so that the spirits and the mind of Christ will be in us that there's nothing in us of value that is more than to sacrifice herself for the woman that God has given and ordained to be our wives The woman that God has placed next to us now is worth of all our efforts, is worth of all our sufferings, is worth of all our strength and everything that we can do. Why? Because now in her I found the greatest worth, even greater than what it is in me. Humility or better, sacrifice requires that I will condescend in the same way that Christ Jesus did.

But not only this sacrifice requires requires disobedience to the Lord, disobedience to the Lord. It also requires this humility. Pay attention to verse five. Verse 8 better, "...and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

What is one of the main characteristics of the love that was sacrificial of the Lord Jesus Christ? His humility. that even though he was in glory, that was not something that he kept, but rather he humbled himself. In other words, he was not prideful. Pride is something that is going to destroy the way in which we live our lives for our wives.

We consider that we deserve, when we consider that this should be done for me, when we consider that perhaps I would have been better if I get this way or if I don't those things. When I put myself above my marriage and above my wife, then I'm no longer acting in a humble way. I'm no longer looking out for the interests of others, but I'm looking out for my own interests. And the Apostle has told us very clearly there in verse 3 and 4 that that is not the mind of the humble person. Pay attention to verse 3 and 4 of chapter 2.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Lead let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others. This is the sacrifice of Jesus Christ that is meant to be in the heart of the men that we love our wives as Christ has loved the church. And that implies that because of the greatness of the revelation that the love of God has been bestowed upon me. Now I'm willing when I say yes, to spend the rest of my life loving this woman and sacrificing myself so that she will become more like Christ Jesus.

The Word of God will cleanse her and sanctify her and that she will become closer to her Savior if the person is in Jesus Christ and even if she's not in Christ. Your duty is not contingent upon the spiritual condition of your wife. Your duty is contingent upon who God is, what He has done, and what He says that we ought to be because of Him. So even if what we receive from our wives is completely contrary to the things of Christ, the heart of the man that is in Christ should remain at the feet of Jesus Christ, asking for the flow of grace to come, for the love of God to come, to carry this difficult burden of living a life that is in the flesh difficult, impossible, but by the grace of the Lord is possible. And even if a man is going to spend the rest of his days with a woman that will never come to Christ, the spiritual duty of these brothers is still the same.

to love that woman as Christ has loved the church in a sacrificial way, which requires obedience to God, not thinking that there's something where I'm going to apprehend to die because, look, I'm not going to do that, but rather humbled, being humble and not full of pride, being humble like the Lord Jesus Christ. to sacrifice for the person that was placed next to them. And thirdly, and beautifully here we have, in verse nine, this exaltation of the Lord Jesus Christ. Of course, the husband is not going to be exalted, you know, by just simply enduring the difficulties of marriage. But we're told in verse nine that the sufferings and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ led to the exaltation of Christ Jesus.

It says in verse nine, Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. Even though, of course, we as husbands and Christian men are not going to be exalted in this way, something that we do learn from this is that Christ Jesus was not expecting any retribution from this world. Christ Jesus was not expecting any retribution or exaltation even from the church. Christ Jesus was never expecting to be perhaps just to consider to be such a good savior or to receive these praises from the world. He was exalted by God.

He was patiently waiting in the providence of God and in his will and the exaltation of the Lord. The glory that Christ had from the ages past are given to him once again because of his sacrifice. And of course, we might not be exalted in that way, but there's a very similar principle of enduring the things of this world and being exalted in the hands of the Lord, if you come with me to 1 Peter chapter 5. In 1 Peter chapter 5, the apostle seems to be speaking, there are some aspects of waiting for the retribution that comes not from man or from this world, but the retribution that comes from God himself. When he says in 1 Peter chapter 5, if you go there in verse 5, Chapter five or six when he says humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you casting all your anxieties on him because he cares For you, of course, here, the context is speaking primarily about the sufferings of the Christians that have been persecuted.

But there is a sense, brother and sister, and all of you here within the sound of my voice, that we should do the things that God has called us to do, not expecting to receive a retribution from those who are around us, but only to receive a retribution from the one who has called us to do that. That once we enter into glory, he will say, Welcome, you know, faithful servant. You have been faithful in the little things that I gave you. You have been recipient of the grace that was given unto you and you have been faith. Welcome that we will desire to hear the voice of our God saying you were very weak.

And you were very deviated from the things, but you received the grace that was bestowed upon you. And you came to my words, and you attempted by the same grace to fulfill that calling that I gave you of a husband, of a wife, or a child in the Lord. And you have fulfilled it for the glory of God. Welcome, faithful servant, that we will expect not to receive retribution, or accolades, or good words from people, even from ourselves. But we will decide to receive that from the Lord.

And if we return to our text, we know now that this spiritual duty that we men have towards our wives is the duty of love. A love that is Christian and a love that is meant to be sacrificial. But what does this love do? There's a few things that this love does that are contained here in these verses 26 through 33. But I hope that the Lord will help us to consider in the last time that we have.

What does this love do? The first thing that I want you to pay attention to is found there in verse 25. We have that expression there, once again, of gave himself up. Pay attention, it says in verse 25, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Let me say it and explain it from the text, and then I will illustrate it from the Acts of Christ.

Genuine biblical love from the husband to the wife. That is a love that is Christian and is sacrificial. Love that is not rooted in who the woman is and what she does, but a biblical love that is rooted in the love of God, what he has done for me, empowered by the Holy Spirit. This love that leads the man to be sacrificial in the way that he loves the woman, that is to be obedient to God's word and to be humble in his ways, to look for the interest of the woman and not for his own interest. This is a love that does not regret the sacrifice that has been done for the one who has received his love.

This love is a love that does not regret the sacrifice that has been done for the one whom he has loved. There's no regret in this Christian love as there was not regret in the love that Christ had for the church. Once again, the power and the strength of that expression there that the apostle uses to speak of the love of Jesus Christ, that Jesus Christ gave himself up. is literally that he handed himself over that he disconnected in such a way of no return when he was given for the church he was not with the possibility of i'm taking my first and second step into the history of redemption and i'm going to reconsider all of these things into which i have put myself into but rather the love of god in Christ Jesus is a love that does not regret the sacrifice that has been made for the one whom he loves. Jesus Christ does not regret the love or the sacrifice that he has had for his bride.

Even we're told in Hebrew chapter 12 that it was for the joy that was set before him that he endured his suffering and that he endured the mocking. And what was that joy? The joy of being with the father, but also the joy that he was going to to bring to the Father this broken bride that did not deserve to be loved, that did not deserve to be rescued, this bride that did not deserve to be loved and to be apprehended and embraced. Jesus Christ came to love this bride that did not deserve. So hence, if we are going to love our wives as Christ has loved the church, our love should never regret.

Never regret the sacrifice that has been made for the one whom we love. And I know, brothers, that it's difficult in the flesh because we are sinful and there is sin even in our marriages. And there are so many things that are just so difficult to take at times. But brothers, the strength is not derived from our own hearts or even from our wives. The strength is derived from Christ Jesus.

So when we see the woman that God has placed next to us and the wife that has been given to us with all her sins and with all her things and with all the things that we don't like and that we might like and all the things that change and all the things that perhaps we in our flesh do not appreciate, that is the woman that God has placed next to you for you to love and for you to sacrifice. with the power of the Holy Spirit until the last day comes and arrives. And by the grace of God, none of the sacrifices, none of the sufferings, none of the efforts that we will make in the Lord will be put into rubbish. It will be for the glory of God. And just as Christ Jesus does not regret the sacrifice that he made for the bride whom he loved, may the Lord give us the grace that is needed brothers, so that we will not regret loving our wives in the way that we are to love them as Christ Jesus loved the church.

Second, very important, love does not only not only does not regret the sacrifice that has been made, but love, Christian love, is not forced, but is willing. Pay attention to the way that Jesus Christ loved the church. Verse 25, it says, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, and he gave himself, in the text, there is an emphasis, and he gave himself up for her. for the church. Christ Jesus, in alignment with the will of the Father, willingly decided to sacrifice himself for the church.

Is it true that in Gethsemane, as he's beholding the wrath of God that is going to come, he says, let this cup pass from me, but not my will, but your will be done? Yes, it is true that he said that, but in that We can even see that Jesus Christ preferred and was in alignment with the will of God the Father. That even though He knew of the depths of the wrath that was going to come, and the depths of the sacrifice that He was going to give for the bride, knowing the fullness of it, He submitted Himself to the will of God the Father, rather than to what He was asking in that moment that the cup will pass from Him. He willingly gave His life. for a bride that he knew that she was not perfect, that she was not altogether lovely in a spiritual sense, that she was not with every single aspect righteous, but rather that this bride was broken, that this bride was sinful, that this bride was unrighteous, that from a spiritual divine point of view, there's nothing in her that was calling the divine action or intervention that Christ willingly, in alignment with the will of the Father, gave Himself.

Why? Because Christ Jesus had a greater perspective of the will of God the Father in this whole history of redemption. Because He was obedient and He wanted to glorify the one whom He would... that he sent him he wanted to glorify God the father and in that Jesus Christ found that which was needed to do what it was required of him he was in the power of the spirit doing that which had been commanded for him to do and he fulfilled to perfection the sacrifice for the bride so we also ought to love our wives Not regretting the sacrifice that we've done for them, but willingly and in the power of the Spirit, we should change our will so that we can say, Father, not my will, but that your will be done. That I will be in alignment, that I could say with the Apostle Paul in Romans chapter 12, that your will is perfect, is acceptable.

that I receive your will, the will of the woman that you place next to me, this woman that is my wife, that I will be able by your grace and by your power to walk with her. Third and very important with this, I will finish because it's almost 50 minutes here. The love that the husband is supposed to have for the wife is not a human love that is rooted in the wife herself. But it's a divine love, a Christian love that is rooted in Christ Jesus. A love that does not regret the sacrifice.

A love that is willing and is not because of compulsion or obligation. And it's also a love that sanctifies. Pay attention to verse 26, it says that the love of Christ Jesus was with the purpose of that he may sanctify her, that is the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he may present the church to himself in a splendor without a spot or wrinkle or any such a thing that she may be holy and without blemish. My dear brother, if you're married, my dear brother, if you will be married, perhaps in the future, or children, if you're perhaps not married, of course, but you will be married in the future. If God gives you the blessing and the gift of a woman next to you.

The reason why that woman has been placed next to you is that by the grace of God and your service and your sacrifice and your love, you will be an instrument of the grace of Christ to bring that woman to the finish line of this history of redemption. Not that she needs you. She doesn't need you. She needs Christ Jesus. But you're an instrument in the grace and in the hands of Jesus Christ that the word of Jesus Christ through you and in you will be used to bring this woman to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ.

This woman will be cleansed. This woman will be washed by the word of the Lord and that will make it until The end, just as the church is going to be presented holy and without blemish, this woman also, as part of the body of the Lord Jesus Christ, now through the instrument that is the husband, will now be presented before the Savior as a woman that has been conformed to Jesus Christ. Yes, by the sovereign grace of God that accomplishes His purposes, but also through the instrumentality of an obedient, faithful man, that even though he knows that he's broken, that even though he knows that he does not have all the answers, That even though he sins and even though many times he makes so many mistakes in the acknowledgement of this feebleness, in the acknowledgement of this weakness, this man has come to the feet of Christ to ask for the grace of God so that he would be an instrument. that brings this woman to the feet of the Savior. So are we to provide food in the table?

Yes, we are to work and to provide food on our tables. Are we supposed to provide a place where families can live and be safe and secure? Yes, we are to provide a place where families can come and be safe and secure. Are we supposed to have plans and perhaps foresee the future, how we can have our families secure and plan for the future? Yes, we are supposed to do all of that, but we are also brothers.

to be instruments of the grace of Christ to bring our people, that is our wives and our children, to Christ Jesus. If your priority is how much money is in your pocket or in your bank account at the cost of the spiritual life of the person that is next to you, then you have lost perspective from the eyes of Christ. If your main preoccupation is what is going to happen with the house or the car or the government or the future at the expense of what is happening with the soul of your wife and of your children, you have lost the perspective of the things that are important for Christ Jesus. We are to be sacrificial in our love to our brides, to our wives, in that we cleanse them through the word of the Lord. And guess what?

That word is not given to you as a download that comes from heaven and you know now everything about Christ. No, my dear brother, that is given to you with the humility of abiding at the feet of Christ in prayer and through the Word of God, wanting to know Him more so that perhaps what I give to her is not so much of me, but it will be the things of Christ. Because the main thing that you can do in your marriage is to die to self. and that Christ will be in you so that we will be able to forgive, that we will be able to forbear, that we will be able to sacrifice, that we will be able to do the things that we have called to do in the power of the Holy Spirit and not in the obligation of the flesh. Because here we carry the burden of marriage in the flesh.

It is only that takes five or 10 years for people to divorce and to take different paths and to different ways. Or that we just simply growing 20, 30 or 40 years of marriage in the flesh. We are just so used to it that we know that we don't love each other. But now it is just too late for us to take different paths. And it's just better for us just to continue after 40 years together, separated in the home, separated, divorced in the heart, no longer desiring each other unless the things of the Lord.

If we do not have the grace of Christ in our hearts, that is the destination. of a marriage is made dear brother and sister. That's why we should humbly acknowledge our feebleness and weakness and to know that when we come to a passage like this, It's impossible for us to love them in the way that we should love them. And it's only the grace of the Savior, the one that can empower us to do that. Finally, let me just point to one because we're not gonna have enough time there.

But the love of Christ that is in the way of the Lord Jesus Christ is one that should nourish the person, not destroy it. Pay attention to verse 29. It says, For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. Just as Christ does the church because we're members of his body. Apostle says, because we are the members of the body of the Lord Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ nourishes us and gives us everything that we need.

So husbands and wives, you have become one flesh. You husbands are not to nourish. your wife, you are to provide for her, not only for the physical needs, but also for the spiritual needs. Of course, the question needs to be asked, what are we doing with our calling brothers? What are we doing with our calling as husbands?

How are we treating our wives? How are we serving our wives? How are we ministering to our wives? What is the definition of our love towards them? If God was going to come and examine our affections towards them, and our love was going to be put on display, Is our love the love of this world?

Or is our love towards them the love of Christ, humble, sacrificial, obedient, that does not look for our own interests, but for the interests of those whom God has entrusted us? How are we doing with that? And of course, the question is not asked to put a burden upon you, because certainly there's much blame in me. But it's for us, brothers, to come to Christ and to acknowledge that many times the greatest thing that we should do and we could do for the kingdom is with the person that is seated next to us. that many times the greatest thing that we could do for the Church of Jesus Christ, it is by serving that person that the Lord has given us.

And even though it might be painful, and sometimes difficult, and sometimes we might not even understand, and sometimes even we may receive things that we think that don't deserve, or perhaps that should not be there. Even there, our strength should not be derived from what we receive, but from Christ Jesus. Because if we make our efforts dependent upon the other person, namely our wives, then it will be a matter of time for us to be drained and wasted and exhausted and for us to give up and just to simply walk away or just to walk away even in our hearts. We are to love our wives as Christ has loved the church. not only in year one, not only in year two of marriage, not only year three or five or 10, but to love them until the last day that she is our wife.

To love them and to be with them and to protect them and to guide them in the things of the Lord to the same day. And let me submit to you that if the love of Christ abounds in us, just as we grow in our love to the Savior for our realization and understanding of what He has done in us through the Holy Spirit, our love for our wives will also grow. Not because they become more beautiful, more beautiful, because in many ways they don't. And we grow all older, and our bodies change, and our ways pass away. Not because necessarily we're going to become smarter or better.

In many ways we remain just the simple person that we used to be when we were 21 or 22. But not because we become reputable and people follow us. Most of us are going to be unimportant in the eyes of this world. It is because we have had a deeper understanding and revelation of the grace and of the love of God. And in having that deeper understanding of the love of God, I can say I love this woman more than the day that I first marry her or the day that I met her.

I love this woman more and in a better way, in such a way that even when I compare it when I marry her, I don't even know if I love her to be honest. Because now the way that I feel for her and how I'm willing to give myself to her does not compare to the first day in which I marry her. Not because we have the ability to do so. Brothers, the closer that we get to Christ, the more beautiful that his bride will be to our eyes. Because the closer that we get to Christ, the better and the easier that we can see his bride with his eyes and not with ours.

Our eyes are focused on the external things. That's why vanity in this world focuses on the external. But the eyes of God, you remember 2 Peter or 1 Peter chapter 3? They see the beauty that is in the heart, the meekness of the heart of a woman that has been touched by the grace of the Savior. But even if your wife never encounters the grace of God, Even if your wife remains as a hater, an enemy of Christ, your duty towards her is not contingent upon what you receive from her.

Your duty to her is contingent upon what Christ has done for you. And if Christ has loved you this much, with the things that you have in your mind or in your heart. And if Christ has loved you so much, with all the rubbish that happens in your head, with all the rubbish that happens in your heart, with all the rubbish that you've done with your hands, with all the rubbish that you've done with your feet, if God has so loved you that he sent his son, who are you to say, This person is not worth of my love. Because when you do so, you have put yourself in a place that not even Christ himself put himself. But rather, he came down, he humbled himself, and he died upon the cross.

And the Lord, brothers, give us the grace that we need. to be faithful, not in these inventions of what we see that we're going to try to do, but rather to be faithful with the person that God has placed next to us. So let us pray. Let us consider our ways before the Lord that He will grant us the grace that we need to love our wives in the way that we should. Amen.

Father, we give you thanks, Lord, for this time that you have given us. I pray, O Lord, that your grace will come to especially to my brothers in this very moment that we can see their days. I pray, Lord, that you will strengthen us as men of God, that you will help us, Lord, to love our wives with a Christian sacrificial love. that is obedient to your word, that is humble to your providence, that patiently awaits for the exaltation, not of men, but the exaltation that comes from God, a love that does not regret the sacrifice that has been done for the one whom we love. I love a Christian sacrificial love that is willing, not because of compulsion, but willing by having the power of the Spirit renewing our minds.

I love a sacrificial life that sanctifies our wives through the word of the Lord. A love that nourishes, that provides, that gives, that cares. So help us, Lord, please, to be patient. Help us, Lord, to be humble before your presence. Help us, Lord, to use any strength and any energy to come to your feet and to acknowledge our feebleness, Lord.

We pray, Lord, and I pray that you will forgive us for our sins that we have committed against you as husbands many times. that we have neglected our duties, that we have been so busy with things and confused with things, Lord, that we have neglected the important things of the heart of our wives and even people around us. We pray, Lord, that you will forgive us. We know that you're just and faithful to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We confess, Lord, that we are so weak, that we are so weak, Lord, that we are so easily distracted with the things of this world.

We are so easily deviated with the things of this world. That we are just many times like little children, Lord, that just following different things. So I pray that you will grant us by your grace eyes that are focused upon you and that we will be satisfied in the simplicity of the call that you have given us to be husbands, fathers, brothers, sisters in the context of the church. in our local community. I pray, O Lord, that you will bring any restoration to our marriages.

If we need to ask for forgiveness, Lord, I pray that you will do that among us, that you will grant us the grace that is needed for us to ask for forgiveness to our wives for the things that we've done and the things that we have not done. I pray, O Lord, that you will make us fearful of your ways and your commandments, Lord, that we will not do it just out of compulsion, but out of love to you. I do pray for our wives and we give you thanks Lord for each one of them and the blessing that they are to us. We praise you Lord for the day in which they were born. We praise you, Lord, for the parents that raised them up, even the absence of parents, perhaps.

We praise you, Lord, for the things that you allowed them to live in their days and in their years. We even praise you, Lord, for the difficulties and the troubles and the sufferings that they went through because all of them providentially kept by your hand to form them. We praise you, Lord, for the way that they sound, and the way that they look, and the way that they speak, and the food that they make, and the care that they give us. We praise you, Lord, for all those things that we don't deserve any of them, Lord. We praise you, Lord, for the company and the sacrifice that they've made and given their lives, Lord, for us and to be with us.

when certainly they could have been with someone much better than us, Lord. So we praise you for that, and we pray, Lord, that you will protect them, that you will keep them, Lord, that you will give them length of days, Lord. Help us, Lord, to love them in the way that we ought to love them, Lord. I pray for my single brothers that are considering, Lord, marriage perhaps in the future. I pray, Lord, your blessing will be upon them, Lord, that you will make them biblical men, Lord, that they will be wise in your word, that they will be filled with your Holy Spirit.

Protect them, Lord, from sexual immorality and the distractions of this world. I pray, Lord, for our sisters who are single and perhaps decide to be married in the future. I pray, Lord, that you will provide for them men who love them as Christ has loved the church. Please, Lord, protect them from falling into the hands of men that are not in Christ or hypocrites. Protect our daughters and our sisters, Lord, from falling into the hands of men that seek the things of the flesh and not the things of God.

I pray, Lord, that you will grant a discernment and light to my brothers, single and sisters, single sisters, Lord, as they patiently wait for that person to come. I pray, Lord, for even my brothers and sisters who may be also separated or divorced. I pray, Lord, for them that you will strengthen them, knowing that they're married to a greater husband. that they will find rest in Christ and in his company. And even though they may look back into the many years and see the disappointment of the sins of the flesh and the sufferings of the past, I pray, Lord, that you will be enough and that you will be sufficient in their hearts and that they will be thankful for that which happened in the past and now where you have them here in the present.

I pray, Lord, for marriages in our congregation, those who might be going through difficulties. Lord, we bring them before you and we pray, Lord, that you will help us. We're so feeble and we're so weak, Lord, and we need of your grace. Help us, Lord, to honor you in the call that you have given us. We do pray even for our children, Lord.

We ask, Lord, that you will bring them to Christ in a due time. We trust and I trust, Lord, that all of our kids will come to you at a time, Lord. And I do also pray that even as some of them are little, some of them even in the womb, Lord, we pray for their future husbands and wives. That You will provide for them husbands and wives according to Your Word. And that they will be faithful husbands and faithful wives, Lord.

And that we will be delighted in fulfilling the call that You have given us. Help us, Lord, we pray. All of these things in Jesus' name, Amen.