The Christian life - The..

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com. That's cornerstonerbc.com. Brothers and sisters, we continue our theme in our Bible studies. We have concluded the Christian life as an individual person, and we've begun now the life of a Christian in the context of a Christian family.

And we need not to underestimate the importance of family. The importance of family, not only the nuclear or the family that we know, the common family that we know, the father and the mother and the children, and of course, the extended family that we are known as the family of God. We are the children of God, and as brothers and sisters, the church, the bride of Christ is embodied the family of God, and we'll get to that in a few weeks' time. But we are not to underestimate the absolute importance of the nuclear family in the context of our societies, in the context of what God has created. Now, the other week, our brother spoke about what a family is, and we know what a family is.

The Bible is very clear. When a man and a woman enter into a covenant relationship, they enter into that relationship and they become a husband and a wife. Both the man is to understand his responsibility as a husband in that relationship and the wife is to understand her responsibility and her role in that covenant relationship. And when they consummate that marriage, they become a wife. Family.

This is a family in the eyes of the Lord. Now, the Lord has designed that relationship. He has clearly defined what the roles and the responsibilities are to be of every member of the family, whether it's the husband, or the wife, or the children, because our God is a God of order. He's not a God of confusion. So as I said earlier, when the marriage is consummated, you have a one fleshness between the husband and the wife, and that beloved constitutes the birth of the family.

Now the Lord may bless that husband and that wife, the family, he may bless them with offspring from their loins, children. or they may adopt children into that family. Either way, those children are now added into the family. It's not that they make the family, they are added into a family that has already been established by God when the husband and the wife enter into that covenant relationship called a marriage. The family, among other families in society, these families make for the very bedrock of what a society is.

In other words, if you have healthy families in your society, you'll have a healthy society. And of course, we've seen the fair share of societies that are unhealthy, and the reason for that is really, the essence is unhealthy families within the context of that society. Now sadly, we look into our world today and we see very sad things going on. Our society, the culture around us, the world around us is all about redefining what God has said in stone. God's word is so clear and our society is all about redefining what God has said to be truth.

There is a pulling away from the truth in God's word and there is now people or the society is bringing their own opinions, their own views and in a very individualistic society like we have now, we find that these redefinitions are everywhere. What we have come to know, even the secular world has come to know and accept for thousands of years, is now being redefined in our society to mean something else. Now that doesn't mean that there was no sin, that there was no wickedness, there was no evil in the thousands of years since Adam and Eve, the first family that was constituted in the garden by God, there was indeed. But the norm of what a family is, the norm of what a marriage is, was generally accepted by our societies, but now we're seeing a shift from that general acceptance and a redefinition of many, many things. For example, a redefinition of what a Family is a redefinition of what a marriage is.

Beloved brothers and sisters, the confusion is so great that even what we consider to be just absolutely true, what we consider to be so obvious to you and I, we're seeing even redefinitions in those areas, like what is a male and what is a female, what is so obvious in society, what has been so obvious through human history. These are facts that no one would deny. Now, all of a sudden, in the last many years, in the last few years, I should say, there has been redefinition of these things, and now the result of those redefining of what was setting stone, what God has spoken, is now really nothing more than confusion. Mass confusion has entered into our society, and beloved, If we are looking for answers to our questions, we would be absolutely mad to look into the secular world for answers. Because the world, as we know, the Lord has told us, the ruler of this world is Satan himself.

And his minions are those that he has control over. And the system of the world is what we see progressing as time goes on. Under the sovereignty of God, God's allowed for this to happen. But Satan is very much bringing about what he does best, and he is a liar, the father of lies, he's a slanderer, he's a deceiver, and he's all about confusion. because confusion takes your eyes off truth.

That truth is found in Christ and in his word. So this type of deviation from what God has ordained, as I said earlier, God has ordained something that is of order. God has ordained it for the glory of God and for the flourishing of humanity. What is best for humanity is what God has ordained in his good plan. And yet what we see is confusion, confusion of the sexes.

Males calling themselves females and females calling themselves males and you can change from one to the other depending on the day of the week and so forth. These are very very serious deviations from the truth and beloved what we need to know more than anything else is that we have a rock We have truth. The Lord has spoken, he's been pleased to reveal to us that truth and that truth is found in his word. But what is happening out there is the assault is going directly against the family. It's going against marriages, it's going against identities and so forth.

The enemy is attacking the roots. As I said earlier, you attack the family, you pull the family apart, you redefine family, redefine marriages, and you're quickly bringing down the next generation in our society. And that's what we're seeing. It's a chain reaction and no one is left unscathed. So beloved, as I said, you destroy the family, you destroy everything.

So what is the solution? What's the solution to a society like that? Where up is down, right is wrong, good is evil and evil is good. What is the solution to a society like that? Well, let me tell you, the solution is not to simply go out there and say, let me correct.

Let me tell you what it should be simply. Or let's have a plan to slowly curb you from... No, the solution is simply this. The solution is Jesus Christ. He's always the answer.

There needs to be a heart change. There needs to be regeneration. There needs to be a nature change. There needs to be a removal from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. And only then is one able to acknowledge truth.

Only then is one able to receive the words of God without offense and say, Lord, you are true and let me be wrong. Let all men be lies, but let God be true. I feel a certain way, that's okay. But if God's word says that he is true, my feelings could be wrong, my opinion could be wrong, but God's word is always true. So the solution is to turn their eyes to Jesus Christ.

that repentance is in order that coming back to the God of the universe who has ordained only that which is good for his people to accept that from him to set aside our own opinions our own views and so forth and to embrace his word embrace his word and to allow God the creator of the universe to teach the creature of what is good and what is right and what is true. It's found in his word. Come back to what God has taught us and when we come back we come and rediscover once again what God has ordered in creation what God has ordained in the roles and the responsibilities of both male and female, the only two genders that there are, and how he would want the family to be organized. And so this evening we'll be talking about Husbands. Husbands in the context of a Christian family or in context more so in the context of a marriage.

Next week, by the Lord's will, we'll be talking about wives. Husbands. Husbands is what we'll be talking about this evening. Now, to be honest, as I thought about this study, So many thoughts came into my mind and I really wanted to address a lot of things, but today we're probably only going to address a very small portion. A lot's being left on the table, but I just really wanted to take one small tangent onto and just really express that and open that up for us.

So if you have your Bibles, let's open them up to the book of Ephesians, Ephesians chapter five, and we'll begin reading from verse 22. It may take me a while to get to the responsibilities and the role of a husband, we'll get there. But there is a reason why I'm doing what I'm doing by God's grace. So Ephesians chapter five, from verse 22. You have your, yeah, all open, good.

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and he is himself its saviour. Now, as the church submits to Christ, also wives should submit everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish, in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of, let each one, my apologies, however, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Amen.

Beloved, in a sense, we can park here and we can together open up the Scriptures to this passage and here we can ask the question, what is the role of a biblical husband in the context of a biblical marriage? Because here in the book of Ephesians, the Lord has given us a text which so beautifully expresses so many elements There's much more throughout the word, but there's so many elements even just here about a biblical husband and how the husband ought to be. What is his role? What is his responsibility? What is his attitude towards this marriage and towards his wife?

And that would not be a bad thing to do. Because as I said, this text speaks so clearly to that point. But brothers and sisters, I really want us to be reminded this evening that the word of God has been given to us. It's been delivered to us in a particular way and in a particular order for a reason. You see, passages about husbands and wives are found in this chapter.

Well, like this chapter, we know and we've come to know this chapter. We've come to, even some of us have memorized the content of this chapter. But beloved, let me ask you, what chapter is the section that speaks about husbands and wives? What chapter is it in the book of Ephesians? Chapter five.

How many chapters come before chapter five? four chapters. You see, sometimes we become a little bit lazy when we're reading a letter. Sometimes we we think of a topic and we we go to that topic and we we explore that topic in the context. Sometimes even proof texting but sometimes we neglect to look at the context.

We have to remember that the way the Lord gave us his word, the way it was originally given in the original context is it was written by the Apostle Paul. This letter, Ephesians, was written by the Apostle Paul under inspiration of the Holy Spirit to be given to the church in Ephesus. And when they read this letter, this epistle, they would read the epistle in its totality. as it was from chapter one all the way through chapter six. Now the chapters were actually later introduced, it was just one big letter.

And so before the apostle Paul and inspiration gives instructions to the different relationships and defines the God given authority and their roles and responsibilities of that relationships, as we see in the latter part of chapter five and beginning there in chapter six, the husbands and wives, children towards their parents, and of course, slaves and their masters. Before the apostle Paul begins to express any instruction in relation to those relationships, he has presupposed that this foundation has been laid and has been embraced by the heroes, because they've gone through the first four chapters before he begins to address what is written for us there in the middle of chapter five and beyond. Because if you get the foundation right, beloved, This is the big deal. You get the foundation right and the building will stand firm. If you get the foundation wrong, it's just a matter of time and disaster awaits.

We have to remember that. We have to remember context. Whenever we're reading anything, we have to remember context because I wanna remind you of probably a scene that most of us are familiar with, because we are locals, and if we've ever driven down to Brisbane at least once, we're probably familiar with this scene. As you're driving, you're probably seven or eight kilometres away from the CBD. You go up a hill after—is it Mount Gravatt?

Mount Gravatt. And as you go over the hill, as you approach Coopers Plains or Holland Park, you look, and right before you, you see in the horizon, you see the city. You see the CBD, and how do you know it's the CBD? Because you see all these high-rise buildings. You see, some are very tall and some are not so tall.

They're different architecture, different designs, different colours, but they're all towering there in the skyline. And yet, beloved, when we look at those buildings, When we look at them, and we may be amazed at the architecture and so forth, but when we look at their buildings, if I ask you, how is it that these buildings stand the way they stand? There is nothing that you can see, no matter how high you can see, or no matter how low you can see, there's nothing that you can see that you can point to and say, that's why the building stands. Beloved, the building stands because of what is unseen to your eyes and my eyes. The building stands because of what is under the ground.

We're talking about a foundation that has been laid with the building in mind. That's why the building stands. How often have we wondered about those massive structures that we see around the place and around the world? Even here on the Gold Coast, when we drive through surface of Broadbeach and beyond, we see these huge high-rise buildings that are taking the horizon of our skies. And we wonder sometimes that they're so thin.

I don't know if you've wondered this, but some of them are really thin and they're very tall. I'm thinking with the diverse of weather conditions that we get here, how do they remain standing? the heat and the cool weather, the hail that we get on the Gold Coast quite often? How about the thunders and the lightning? And what about the one in 100 year flood like we had only a few years ago?

How is it that those buildings remain the way they are? Beloved, as I said earlier, the reason they stay standing is because the whole structure is supported by a foundation. If the foundation is built well, then the structure will remain and it's unseen, it is hidden to your eyes and my eyes. If the architects or the engineers or the builders did some shortcuts as they're building the building, then it may be only a matter of time. They may look beautiful as we see them now, but it's only a matter of time.

They will come tumbling down and that beauty that we once enjoyed will be nothing more than a pile of rubble. Foundation. Foundations. So beloved brothers and sisters, I want to tell you here this evening that our Lord is not interested in building anything temporal. Everything our Lord puts his hand in is eternal, absolutely eternal.

Things that have absolutely no end. He's not interested in things that are here today and gone tomorrow. Everything he puts his hands in endures for all eternity, even our relationships with our wives or the relationship with the wives and the husband or with our children. Because beloved, if we recognize the context of the marriage, the one flesh relationship between a husband and a wife, we have to realize this is a temporal relationship. That relationship is confined to the here and now.

When one of either the husband and wife or wife pass away, that covenant is broken in heaven. We are neither, we neither marry nor are we given over in marriage, we're told in Matthew 22. That marriage, that covenant relationship between a husband and a wife is only here and now, and yet the Lord's hand is in that. That means that whatever the Lord is doing in the context of the marriage, he's concerned that he has eternal significance, eternal consequence. Although it is only the here and now that we can see with our physical eyes, he's building foundations that will last into all eternity.

That's what he's concerned with. Because those relationships that we are enjoying right now, the Lord uses to sanctify us through his spirit and by his word until the perfection comes, and that is until he returns. So before a single word is given about how we are to conduct ourselves in that relationship between husband and wife that we enjoy on the earth, the apostle Paul lays a foundation for which everything else should be built upon. Everything. And beloved, what is that foundation?

Jesus Christ. I said Christ is the answer. He's always the answer. Always the answer. Our relationship with Christ, our union with Christ by faith is what everything is founded upon, our union with Christ.

And because our union with Christ is not something that simply took place in here and now. I mean, we may have seen that our vital union, that is that the time that the Lord opened our eyes and redeemed us from our darkness, that happened in time and place. But in the heart of God, that union was before the foundation of the world for eternity. From eternity, there was elect in Jesus Christ, the bride of Christ, the body of Christ. And that's a glorious thing to think about, that what the Lord is doing through his church is eternal.

It was in the heart of God from all eternity. And even now, what he's doing with us, with our temporal relationships in this world, he is making sure that what he does, the blessedness and the sanctifying work that he does in and through us, through our relationships, are going to last into all eternity. And so, for those relationships to last into eternity, they need to be rooted in an eternal relationship. And that is, they need to be rooted in the cornerstone, who is Christ. He is the foundation.

Otherwise, we are building a foundation on sand. And before we know it, that structure that we build and put time into will all come collapsing down. It may look nice today, but in a matter of time, when the foundation is not right, it will come tumbling down. So beloved, as I said earlier, that relationship is rooted in Christ. And so, as the Apostle Paul lays down the foundation to our thinking, the foundation of how our relationships should be between husband and wife, children and parents, of course, as I said earlier, masters and their servants, as he lays that down, he wants us to be reminded by him, but the Spirit wants us to be reminded.

of that relationship that began with Christ in eternity past. And that relationship is not dependent upon you. It's not because of your work. It's not because of your righteousness. It's not because of how good you are.

You weren't even born. You and I weren't born. When we were united in the heart of God in Christ, we weren't around. We haven't done anything good or bad. It's not as though he looked upon us and he loved us because we looked good or because of our performance.

It was none of that. we weren't even around, it is by His grace and by His grace alone. And we see that so evidently in this book, in Ephesians chapter two, in verses one through 10, that is the point of the apostle Paul under inspiration, that he's telling us that if we get what we deserve, we are wicked, we deserve destruction, we deserve the wrath of God, that's who we are by nature. But it is purely by the grace of God and by His grace alone, that we made part of the body of Christ. By his grace, we've been brought into the body of Christ.

He has made our minds to open our minds to see the truth, to understand the truth, to embrace Jesus by faith, to bend the knee to this king. to acknowledge we're sinners and we need a savior and to embrace him and to love him by his spirit because he has done that for us and we are utterly, utterly unworthy. Beloved, this is very important before we move on, that we recognize that we have been saved by the grace of God alone because if we don't recognize that truth, we will develop a spirit of entitlement and that spirit of entitlement will infect and corrupt and defile all our relationships That mindset needs to be in our minds. That we were united in Christ before eternity passed, in Christ from eternity. And that our salvation, even in real time, is by grace and grace alone, and we are undeserving of all the blessings that come our way.

So there's no place for a spirit of entitlement in the body of Christ. Beloved brothers, husbands, a spirit of entitlement will make you tyrants in your own home. You will be manned and you'll be cruel and you'll be harsh. And you will demand that things are going only your way for the wrong reasons. A spirit of entitlement, not recognizing the grace of God in Christ, not recognizing that we deserve nothing.

All that he's given us is purely grace. Not recognizing these things will build in us a spirit of entitlement, and that will corrupt our relationships. Wives, sisters, a spirit of entitlement in your own heart will destroy your marriages, because you will always think that you deserve better. You'll look outside and see things that look so much more rosy and the grass is greener on the outside and you think you deserve better. Beloved, we always need to remember we don't deserve anything but punishment from God.

Anything more is absolute grace. We always should have that heart of indebtedness to Jesus Christ of his undeserving grace. Beloved, that is why for three chapters, the apostle lays down the riches of his undeserving salvation that has been bestowed upon us through Christ as we've exercised our faith in him. For three chapters, he lays out what God has done and continues to do in Jesus Christ. Why?

Because he loved us. because he loved a wretched people like us who don't deserve any of his blessings. Yet he makes us partakers in the incredible blessings because we have come in union with the only one who is worthy of those blessings. And that is Christ. Why?

Why? We're unworthy. Why? Beloved, this is the point that baffles me the most in Scripture. The love of God.

The absolute love of God upon a wicked sinner like me. And that's why I think, I believe that the Apostle Paul, the first three chapters are very much a high view reflection of what Christ has done, what God has done in Christ for sinners like us. The instruction begins in chapter four, first three chapters is none. And then the last three chapters is instructions to the Christian. But the last few words in the third chapter, that's the point that the Apostle emphasizes.

Did you realize that? That he wants us to see the breadth and the length and the height and the depth of the love of God in Christ Jesus. Marvel, he's saying, look at the love of God. Look at the expression of God's love that you have now been made to recognize in Jesus Christ. But I'm convinced, I'm convinced that the spirit of God has given us his word and purpose in the way he has written this book to really communicate to our hearts that unless we continue to marvel at his grace, unless by his grace we continue to be overwhelmed by the love of God, Unless our hearts are in a position of always being indebted in our souls to what God has done in Christ to an unworthy sinner like me, we are not fit to lay a single stone in this building that Christ is building.

Because everything we put our hands to will be corrupt. It'd be fleshly and it'd be self-centered. So the mindset, the heart set of these things must be genuine in the person with eyes fixed upon Christ alone and now in a mindset and with a heart that is fixed upon Jesus. believe the Apostle Paul, through inspiration of the Spirit, is able now to give instruction of how Christians should walk in truth and in the light in relationships one with the other. The unity is the theme.

The unity of Christ is the theme of the first three chapters. And now in chapter four, as I said, the Apostle Paul, My apologies, the Apostle Paul now shows us how that unity of the believer, how the believer is united in a body that is Christ and how we ought to conduct ourselves within that body, that bride, that church or the body of Christ as we read in those chapters. How one is to conduct himself or herself as a Christian in the relationships that the Lord has given us. that we are now united in Jesus Christ. We're united by one spirit, but we are also united one with the other.

And beloved, if we have been united in Jesus Christ, then the life of Christ, as we know it, flows in and through us. The life of Jesus flows through the Christian. So that our union, by virtue of our union with Jesus Christ, our life, our character, the virtues that we exemplify, that we show, ought to be the same as what Christ is. So we ought to be growing in Christ-likeness. The body of Christ ought to manifest the life of Christ.

That makes sense. And we'll see that truth when the apostle gives instruction and continues throughout the book, as he always says, he says to do things and he says, as Christ. You'll see that through the book. He mentions as Christ, we are to be imitators of Christ. So as Christ, he says, or in verse five, chapter five, verse one, he says, be imitators of God as Christ.

beloved children. So when we are to imitate Christ or imitate God, which essentially is the same because Jesus is the Son of God, God in flesh, then we are to think that we as Christians, we as blood-washed believers, ought to have the purpose of our life. to look to Jesus and to walk in the light and to desire to be like him, to be like Jesus Christ, to be Christ-like, to be like the one that we love, for our lives to show the fruitfulness of Christ, to walk in the matter worthy of our calling. And so from there, the apostle then gives instruction of what that looks like. Walk in love of Christ.

Walk in the humility of Christ. Walk in the patience of Christ. Walk in the truth of Christ. The truth is in Christ, we're told in chapter four, verse 21. Depart from darkness and walk in the glorious light of Christ.

Walk in the tenderness and the kindness of Christ, in His care, forgiving one another as Christ forgave us. exercise purity, exercise sexual morality. There should be no hint of sexual immorality amongst us. Self-control, not to be given over to drunkenness. Instead, to be given over to praise and worship and to be encouraging one another with spiritual hymns and psalms and songs as we encourage one another in the word of God that we build one another and not tear one In essence, beloved, you and I must be concerned to walk in a manner worthy of our calling to which we have been called, that is to live by the spirit and not by the flesh.

And the final words before addressing marriage, he says, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. See, at the root of our conduct ought to be reverence for this Jesus Christ, for our Lord, for our Saviour, for our God, that Christ would be enthroned in our hearts, that he is the all in all for you and for I. Pleasing him, beloved, ought to be everything because your relationship with him is foundational and more important than your relationship with anyone else. Only now, presupposing that the Christian takes all the preceding truths to heart, having that frame of mind, the Apostle Paul addresses the relationship between husband and wife. Brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, the reasons we ought not to isolate passages and just bring up a topic and just remove it from the context like this, like husbands this evening in particular, is if your desire is to be faithful in your relationships, in particular husbands, towards your wives, you must first and foremost be concerned to be faithful in your relationship to God in Christ.

That is the bedrock. That is the foundation of all our relationships with others. Beloved brothers, if you desire to be faithful husbands, you need to remember this. It is not faithful husbands who make faithful Christians. It is faithful Christian who makes for a faithful husband.

Your relationship with the Lord ought to be paramount. My relationship with the Lord ought to be paramount. It ought to be the primary importance of my life. How is my life with the Lord? How is my heart with the Lord?

How is my prayer life? How am I committed to spending time with Him, to loving Him, to walking with Him? How am I dealing with sin and temptation? is my primary concern to be faithful to Jesus Christ. That's the foundation for a blessed and faithful relationships with whoever we come across and especially in the context of a marriage.

If we only look up here and look at the points and the practical things that we need to do and we neglect the foundation then everything comes tumbling down. The foundation is far more important than anything else. So husbands, the question that must be asked before any practical advice is given in relation to your role in relation to my role as a husband in our marriage is this, are we walking in a manner worthy of our calling in Are we walking faithfully with Jesus? You see, if we answer no, it doesn't matter what you're doing. Brothers, it doesn't matter what we do.

If we answer no to question number one, you can flood your wife with all the gifts in the world. You can speak lovely to her and kindly. You can speak well of her to your friends. It matters not what you do practically. If your relationship and my relationship with the Lord being neglected, We aren't pursuing as primary importance Christ above everything else.

Everything else we do will be a show. It'll be counterfeit. And as I said earlier, no foundation or a foundation of sand and everything will come tumbling down. It may take time. It may look good now.

It may look nice on the outside. People may even speak well of us. But if the foundation is not right, and that is an individual relationship with the Lord that is predicated upon truth, a relationship that is built on love, a relationship that seeks to honor Him above everything else, if that is not what we are concerned with more than anything else, then brothers, there's no two ways about it. We are walking in the flesh. We may look good on the outside, but the inside, it's corrupt.

It's only a matter of time, as I said earlier, that everything will be exposed for what it is. And if the root is not Jesus, if the root is not Christ, if the foundation is not the cornerstone, then everything else will come tumbling down. Ephesians is a very short book, it's only six chapters. It's about 20, maybe 25 minutes worth of read if you sit down and read it from chapter one through chapter six, and I would encourage you to make an effort to read it as soon as you can in its totality. It's a wonderful experience to just sit there and read the six chapters for 20, 25 minutes.

And I say, if you have the opportunity to do that soon, then maybe keep this in the back of your mind, read, And think of how many times the Apostle Paul mentions in Christ, in him, with Christ, in Christ, through Christ. Think of how many times the Apostle Paul either mentions it or infers it, one of those realities. You'll be pleasantly surprised. A quick count this afternoon, and I haven't done it before, I've spoken about it, but I've never done it. A quick count this afternoon, and there's about 22 paragraphs in the book of Ephesians, and no less than 31 times I counted.

In Christ, through Christ, or inferring through Christ. 22 paragraphs. 31 times. Do you think the Spirit of God is telling us something? Beloved brothers and sisters, our relationships with other people, we can't even begin to look at those.

We can't even begin to correct the wrongs. We can't begin to ask questions. How can I improve my relationship with others? In particular, the relationship I have with my wife and my wife with me, we can't even begin to go there unless we find ourselves and know that we are rooted and grounded in Jesus Christ, unless the life of Christ is flowing in and through us. Unless our hearts are secure in him, only then are we able to conduct ourselves in a way pleasing to him, including your wife or your husband.

Verse 25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that he might be holy and without blemish. Husbands, love your wives. How are we to love our wives?

Love your wives like Christ loved the church. Tell me, tell me that's not a tall order. Now beloved, is this a recommendation or is it a command? It's a command. Now we're told briefly how Christ loved the church in verse 25.

He gave him by giving himself up for her. So he laid down his life for her, sacrificial. We know that his love was made known by his work on the cross, where he willingly laid down his life and was with the propitiation for our sins. For sinful people, the perfect lamb of God, the one who knew no sin, the one who's righteous and holy in every way, the lamb of God would willingly lay down his life for his bride. That's how Christ made his love shown for us.

But beloved, when the word tells us that we as husbands should love our wives like Christ loves the church, there's so much in that. If someone says to you, love your wife, we can take that on board. But if someone says to you, love your wife like Christ loved the church, that's another element And I'm afraid that sometimes we go that far and we don't go beyond because we've become so familiar with the text, we know what to say, we know what it says, and maybe sometimes we haven't really taken the time to plumb what those words actually mean. To love our lives like Christ loved his church. So we can understand the words, we can understand the syntax, we can read English, we can understand the grammar and the meaning of those words.

Don't get me wrong, the scripture is definitely the inerrant word of God, but simply reading those words and understanding them in our minds won't cut it. There's got to be more. More than just understanding those words with our minds, anyone can open this book and read those words and they can make out somewhat what they're saying if they know how to read English or the language that Bible is in. So how is it that we are to love our lives like Christ loved the church? What's implied here is that Christ laid down his life for the church, right?

So sacrifice, self-sacrifice. So does that mean that for me to love my wife like Christ loved the church, I just need to be willing to sacrifice my life for my wife? Does that mean if I'm willing to take a bullet for my wife that I love her like Christ loved the church? I can tell you no. You can take a bullet for your wife and you may not even begin to love your wife like Christ loved the church or even as he commands you to love her as Christ loved the church.

Beloved, I want us to see that this command is not simply about the action. It's not simply about laying our lives or the things we do. This command is rooted in the heart. Everything is about foundation. It is rooted in the heart.

That's why it may be sometimes, it may be fruitful sometimes with caution to speak of practical elements of a marriage between a husband and wife, but it's never helpful to speak about those practical elements before the heart has been addressed. The heart needs to be addressed. The heart needs to be in the right place. The heart needs to be looking to Christ. It's all about the heart.

If our heart is not in love with Jesus, If our heart has not experienced the love of Christ and is not experiencing or abiding in the love of Christ, then we have no power to love our lives like Christ loved the church. If our love, if our hearts are in the right place, If indeed we find that we do love him, that our primary concern is to please him, to walk in his way, to be like him, then what happens organically is a natural manifestation of the life and the love of Christ, which shows itself out to be truly love. For my bride, for my wife. If we're not abiding in Christ, if we're not abiding in his love, then the outworking may look good on the outside, but we know it is but corrupt on the inside. Beloved brothers, this love that Christ exampled is not a love that the world speaks of.

This world seems to throw that word around probably more than you and I speak of it. This love and that love, and the love they speak of most times is lust and not love at all. This love that Jesus speaks of here is concealed, it is hidden. to the world. They cannot see it.

So in other words, if you want to learn how to love like Christ loved, then you can't find this love or learn of this love from simply books or the internet or other places. You cannot. The world will not teach us with their tutorials or their education to give you the ability to love in this way. It is of a different substance to what the world knows. So let me ask you, How can we, husbands, how can we men obey this command to love our wives as Christ loves the church?

How can we? Well, beloved, as I said earlier, the only way we can love our wives like Christ loved the church is if we have experienced that love ourselves. If we've tasted of his love ourselves in the now and now are abiding in his love. We've read the verses, I mean, let me give you some. For God so loved the world, you know the rest.

He gave his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. In this love of God was made manifest among us that God sent his only son into the world so that we might live through him. 1 John 4, 9. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ what? Died for us.

But is hearing about this love enough? No. You see, naturally we can never acquire this love. It is impossible. It must be given to us supernaturally.

Turn your Bibles back to Ephesians chapter 3. Let's together read a few verses from verse 14. Pigeon 3 from verse 14, for this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory it is. He may grant to you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being. This is a supernatural work from God.

Verse 17, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. You see, a supernatural work is required for us to even know the love of God in Christ, and it surpasses knowledge. You can't go and simply read something and say you know this love. It's required the supernatural hand of God to move in your heart and in your soul in order for you to truly No, to fathom, to understand, to comprehend the love of God through Christ Jesus. We can't do it through our own strength or through our own intellect.

You can't do it by spending hours in books. You cannot do it. It's only done through the power of the Spirit of God in Christ Jesus. And here's the thing, It is only known, the love of God is only known through the power of God who enables our minds and our inner being to be able to receive this love and comprehend it. And here's the thing, unless his love is poured out in your heart and mine, we cannot love as he loves.

Romans 5.3 says, not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, you know the passage, and endurance produces character, and character hope, and hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through this Holy Spirit who has been given to us. love of God has been poured out into our hearts. Isn't that incredible? That by faith in Christ, we have experienced the divine love of God that has been poured out into our hearts.

So as believers, we know what that love looks like experientially. Not only that we've read it, not only that we read of it in the text of scripture, but we know what it looks like experientially because God has revealed that love in our hearts. And now we are enabled to love as Christ loved because he first loved us. You see, the love that you are commanded to love your wife with is a love that is stamped by Christ's DNA. It's not produced from you.

It is given to you. And you are then to give that love that the Lord has poured into your hearts. You are now to pour that love out into our relationships, one with the other and brothers, into your relationship with your wife. That love needs to have Jesus's fingerprint on it, his DNA. And when you love like that, you begin to look like him also.

How does he love the church? Verse 25, Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that he might be holy and without blemish. So what is the greatest expression of love? Well, I think we find it in 1 John 4, because we're told there Christ laid down his life to be the propitiation for our sins. That is, he laid down his life willingly to bear our filthy sin in his body, to bear the wrath of God on our behalf and uncover us in His righteousness, in His perfection, to sanctify His bride, to make His bride beautiful, to make her clean, to make her pure, to make her holy, to make her worthy of Him.

And He does that through the washing of the word we're told here. Verse 25, Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. So, beloved brothers, if you have faith, if by faith you've experienced this love of God that has been poured out into your heart so that you can pour that love out unto others, unto your wives, that you would love your wife as we've been commanded to love her as Christ loved the church. The way you love your wife is the way I love my wife. Like Christ, it's not simply to take a bullet for her, although if it comes to that, you should.

But rather, it is to put self to death, to be willing to sacrifice self, my ambition, my goals, to put that to death, to abide in Christ. And that love ought to compel your heart to wash her with the word. In other words, beloved brothers, the way you love your wives is this way, is to prepare your wife and my wife, I prepare my wife for her eternal husband. That's the way we show the love of Christ to our wives, that we wash them with the word, that we prepare them for Christ. You know, this is so antithetical to everything in the world.

Imagine Imagine the response of the world when they ask you, what is your ultimate goal as a husband? And then without a flinch, you say, to prepare my wife for her eternal husband, to prepare my wife for her eternal husband, to prepare her for another husband. That sounds so crazy, but that is the greatest good that you can imagine for your wife is to prepare to wash her with the word, to bring the word of God, to bear upon your family, to bear upon your wife, that she would be washed and cleansed and sanctified through the power of the spirit. that she would be prepared to be presented to Jesus Christ without spot, without blemish, as he is preparing his bride for himself. That is a glorious thing, and brothers and sisters, we ought to be doing that.

Brothers, we ought to be doing that with word, in word and deed, and we ought to be living out that reality. Remember that foundation. Unless we are in love with Christ, unless we think and truly believe from the bottom of our heart that there's nothing more important than our relationship with Christ, than pleasing Him, than honoring Him, than serving Him, than His glory. If that is not reality in our lives, then we will not desire it for our wives' lives. And if it is a reality in our life, then the greatest expression of our love towards our wives is to see them grow in their love for Christ, to see them grow in their sanctification, to prepare them for the eternal glories rather than to prepare them for the temporal.

And he goes on to say in verse 28, we're almost done. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, but no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Beloved, the most sacred unions known to man on this earth is that between a husband and a wife.

Here you have the Bible telling us that the two people, the man and the woman, come together and they become one flesh. So much can be spoken of the intimacy of that statement. So much can be spoken of about the permanency of that statement, that they become one flesh. And if you become one flesh, then you can't tear them apart without destroying it. There's a permanency of that relationship.

But the absolute beauty, I think, in the statement is the picture. It's the picture of something so glorious. It's a picture of Christ and his church, his body. The husband is to love, is to care and to provide and to protect his wife as Christ does for his church. his own body.

And that's why we're told that men should love their wives like they love their own bodies. You wouldn't do anything to harm your body. You might say there are some who do harm their bodies. Yeah, but the norm is that we do care for ourselves. Actually, our instinct is to be selfish, is to care for ourselves and only ourselves.

That's the natural instinct. That's not what God is talking about here. It's not Christ. He's saying that as you care for your own body, as you're concerned, you ought to be caring for your bride's body, for your bride as well. As Christ cares for the church, then you ought to be caring for your wife.

You know, these are very serious words. Beloved, that's a great responsibility. I don't know about you, but I feel the heaviness of that responsibility. It's weighty. It's very heavy.

But not only have we been entrusted with the responsibility of bringing the Word of God to bear upon our family, in particular our wives, to wash them with the Word, to prepare them, to teach them the Word, to exhort them, instruct them, and to encourage them in the Word. Not only, but the greatest expression of your Christ love for her is to sanctify her and to prepare her for a husband. Not only is that the case, but you and I, husbands, brothers, we've been called to care and to tend for her every need until the day she comes back, until Christ comes back. To nourish, we're told, and to cherish. They're the words that are used before us.

In other words, to treat her as Christ himself would treat her. That's the question we ought to be asking. Do we treat our wives like Christ treat our wives? Like Christ treats his bride, his church? Beloved, she is precious to him.

The bride is precious to Christ. He will hold you to account. He will hold me to account. You know, often we think about 1 Peter chapter 5, we see the responsibility of the shepherds and the elders of the church, and often that That thought brings goosebumps. It brings fear to my heart because that's a massive responsibility.

She's precious to Christ. The bride of Christ is precious to Christ. But beloved, that responsibility is not only in the hands of the elders and the shepherds, the pastors. Every husband has a responsibility before the Lord. to shepherd, to love, to tend, to nourish, to cherish, to tend, to care for his bride as Christ cares for his bride.

What a responsibility. What a weight. Brothers, Christ is very much in love with his bride. She is precious to him. Woe to the husband, woe to the husband who puts his own goals before hers, who puts his own enjoyment, own plans, own agenda before that, the good and the well-being of his wife.

Again, the example we're given is Christ and the church. Is there a single moment that Christ is not concerned for his church? Is there a single moment that his church is in need or has a need that he does not fulfill? Is there a single moment that the church can call out to Christ and say, husband, you have left us without what we need? Is there a single moment that he leaves us without the essentials, what we need to be completely satisfied and blessed in him?

Is there a single moment that he doesn't provide for the every need of his bride? His church lacks for absolutely nothing. Brothers, can we say the same? Are we being Christ to our wives? They can declare that I lack nothing because I'm married to this man.

Are we the picture of Jesus Christ to our wives? You know, if you're in Christ, you know what it is to be secure. You know what it is to take comfort in the spirit. You know what it is to be at complete rest because of the sacrificial death upon that cross of your Saviour, because you've come to trust in Him. Can your wife say that I experience that rest and that peace for my soul, in my soul, not only because of my faith in Christ, but because of the man I'm married to?

Does she see Christ in us? Christ is only concerned to bless his church, to love his church, to sanctify his church, to provide for his church, to protect his church, to provide her every need that she would be lacking for what? Nothing. Do our wives or can our wives declare the same? Beloved, can our wives or will our wives declare that I now love Jesus so much more because I'm married to this man?

That's the responsibility that we've been entrusted with. The order is a tall one, and it is impossible for us to accomplish in the flesh. And that is why, beloved, I began with foundations. It is critical, absolutely critical, before you and I begin to think about the practical outworkings of how our marriage can flourish before we even begin there, to make sure that daily we examine our own hearts before the Lord. to examine our own hearts to see is it indeed I am living in the Spirit?

Am I indeed only concerned with pleasing Him and to bring glory to His holy name? Is my life defined by my love for Christ? Am I abiding in His love? And if I am abiding in His love, is that love now pouring out of me as it was poured into me by the Spirit of God? Is it pouring out of me into my wife so that she can see Christ in me?

Oh, brothers, I pray, I pray for you and for me alike, that our wives will grow to love Jesus all the more because of the husband that they are married to. Because one day we will give an account. And we will give an account to the savior of the world, the judge of the earth. And he is one who's deems more precious than anything.