Building a Biblical Marriage

Welcome to Cornerstone Reformed Baptist Church. You're about to hear God's Word from one of our teaching elders. We trust that God's Word will inspire, instruct and bless you. For further teachings or information on our ministry, please visit our website at cornerstonerbc.com.

That's cornerstonerbc.com. Ephesians Chapter five Ephesians Chapter five. We're gonna be reading from verse 15 all the way until the end of the chapter. We're speaking about biblical marriages in the context of the church, biblical marriages in the context off the church.

This is the word of the Lord. Ephesians Chapter five. Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.

addressing one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her, that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that he may present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she may be holy and without blemish.

In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that that it refers to Christ and the Church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Amen. This is the word of the Lord. Now, brothers and sisters, as I said, it's been, I think, two months since we started to speak about these important matters that pertain to the life of the church. And my purpose with all of these sermons has been to show you how important it is for the individual Christian to be in the context of the local body. The way that the Lord Jesus Christ advances His kingdom upon this earth, it is by the Christian who is part of the local church.

When you learn to love one another, this is an advancement of the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is not of this world. The kingdom of God is in power and in spirit. So when you learn to love one another, the kingdom of God is advancing. When you forgive one another, the kingdom of God is advancing in each one of you and in the context of the church.

When we encourage one another, when we speak to one another, when we help one another, when we are there for one another, when we pray for one another, when we intercede for one another, there is the kingdom of God advancing. in your life and in the context of the church. You cannot advance the kingdom of God in you if you are separated from the context of the church. Hence, the life of the church is meant to be meaningful and deep. We cannot have a church in which our relationships are shallow and superficial so that we don't touch on those uncomfortable things of our lives so that we can keep smiling at each other.

This only works in fleshly clubs and communities. But in the context of the church, the relationship of brothers and sisters is meant to be one in which we care for one another, in which we love one another genuinely, in which we care for conformity to Christ, in which we help, not expecting to receive anything in return, but out of the love that Christ has bestowed upon us to make us his people. So your life depends upon the context of the local church, and that which we should want for this church cornerstone independently of how big or small we are. It is that our link, our bond in our hearts is one that is deep, that is powerful, that is biblical, and that points to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. That's why I have spent almost three months speaking about important matters of the life of the church.

For instance, if you remember, we spoke about unity from Romans chapter 12. And I told you that it's really important for the church to be united, that every time that we come together, we offer ourselves as a single living sacrifice unto the Lord. It does not matter where we come from. It does not matter the language that we speak, the culture that we have, that which unite us. It's Christ Jesus.

It does not matter that we come from Colombia, Argentina, Brazil, from America, from Europe, from New Zealand, from Australia. It does not matter. That which unites us is Christ Jesus. And such we are to be a living sacrifice to Christ. Understanding, then we said from Ephesians chapter 4, that each one of us has a work of ministry, that it does no matter that you have been called to be a pastor or not, a deacon or not, each member of the congregation has a work to be done.

Each one of you has received a gift by the grace of the Lord that is needed for the life of this body. You may think that you are not enough. You may think that you don't know. You may think that you don't understand the Scriptures. But if by grace through faith you have been inserted into the body of Christ and you belong to the context of the local church, then God has given you in Christ Jesus something that is beneficial for the rest of your brothers and sisters.

And then I spoke about biblical love and biblical truth. Remember, we cannot fulfill the work of the ministry only with truth. We also need biblical love. With all of these things that I have been saying for the last two or three months, I want to show you this, that you cannot be a powerful Christian that is walking in the power of the Spirit, being conformed to the image of Christ Jesus, If your connection to the local church is a superficial, empty connection, brethren, we need one another. And Christianity is so good in now putting up just simply a show every Sunday so that people are pleased and satisfied with music and colors and places and things so that the feelings of people will be satisfied and not God glorified.

What do we need? It is a biblical, powerful church that walks in the spirit. so that we can be conformed to the image of Christ. And it does not matter if it's 5, 10, 50, or 100, brethren. What is important is that Christ Jesus is among us.

the importance of the local church in the life of the Christian. And today, I want us to speak about a very important topic of the life of the church, and that is biblical marriages in the life of the church. And perhaps the question that you're asking, why? Why are we going to speak about biblical marriages in the life of the church? Is this not a topic that you brothers should speak only to the couples and to marriages here in the context of the church?

Well, the answer to that is yes or no. We did it two or three weeks ago, but brethren, This is a topic that pertains and is important for all Christians. Perhaps you're saying, oh brother, this is just simply a topic that you should take the couples and marriages and those people who are planning on getting married. And this is a teaching that it is only relevant for them. Why is this going to be important for me that I'm a single person?

Why is it going to be important for me that I'm divorced, separated, or for whatever reason in the sovereignty of the Lord, I'm not married? Why is this important for me? Let me give you two reasons. The first one is because the Lord Jesus Christ and the apostles, every time that they were writing to the churches that were comprised by single people and married people and divorced and separated and all sorts of people, they saw the need to write about marriages. The Lord Jesus Christ taught about marriages and divorce, and the apostles also wrote about marriages.

If you go to 1 Peter chapter 3, you will see that the apostle Peter that is writing to the Gentile churches that were comprised more than likely by single people, slaves, he decides to write in chapter 3 to wives and husbands. Why? Because the idea or the concept of biblical marriages are very important in the context of the church. The same Apostle, the Apostle Paul, when he's writing to the Colossians in chapter 3, he sees the need to speak to the Church about biblical wives and biblical husbands. And here in Ephesians chapter 5, of course, we have perhaps the most comprehensive passage of the Scripture that speaks about biblical marriages in the context of the Church.

whether you're single, or whether you're married. Whatever the reason is that you're single, then you're not married. It is important for you to know what the Scriptures say about a biblical marriage. Because the Scripture says that all the Scriptures has been given by inspiration of God. All the Scripture has been given by inspiration of God.

And it is profitable for teaching, for reproof, and for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man and the woman of God might be equipped Fully equipped. So when we look at the scriptures and when we're reading through the scriptures in the morning, we don't come to a portion that says, well, this does not apply to me. I'm just simply going to jump. No, brother. We read the scriptures from beginning to the end because everything that comes from the mouth of the Lord is beneficial for your soul.

So whether you're single and then you're still patiently waiting for the person that is going to be your husband and wife, then this is a message that pertains to you and you should pay careful attention to. or whether you're a single and then you're not going to get married for whatever circumstances, providential circumstances. It is also a message that is going to be relevant to you so that you will know how to pray for the marriages of the church, what to look for, perhaps if you have children that are in the age of getting married, what to look for and what to pray for. Perhaps you are married, and this is, of course, going to be a message that is going to help you understand the will of the Lord for a couple's biblical marriages. The scripture is sufficient to speak to us about all of those matters.

But more importantly, perhaps, not only that a scripture says, let me give you a second reason. And that is that every time that we come and see marriages in the scriptures, we have a glorious picture of the gospel, brother. Marriage has been instituted with the purpose of reflecting the relationship of Christ, Jesus, and the church. When we come to the church and we see the salvation of brothers and sisters all coming together, praise God for the salvation of brothers and sisters. When we partake of the ordinances, the Lord's table of baptism, then we see with our eyes the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.

When we see a brother and a sister that enter into the covenant of marriage, there we have a visible picture of Christ and the Church. That is what we have right here. Husbands are to wives what Christ Jesus is to the Church. The wives is to the husband what the Church is to the Lord Jesus Christ. In my marriage, we have the glorious picture of the gospel that God sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die upon the cross to rescue a group of people that they were dead in their trespasses and in their unrighteousness and that they were broken.

And it was by virtue of the sacrificial love that these people now can enter in a glorious relationship with God in the Lord Jesus Christ. So whether you are single or whether you're married, I'm encouraging you to pay careful attention to the things that I want us to say so that you will know either to wait patiently for this person, whoever it is, or just simply just to rejoice in the providence of the Lord for your life. If you're single or if you are married, not to know by the scriptures and through the power of the Spirit, what is the calling that we have to be husbands and wives? Now, I want us to ask, or better, to answer a question with the passage that we have before us. And the question that I want us to answer is this.

How can we have biblical marriages in the context of the church? How can we have biblical marriages in the context of the church? And most of these things that I'm going to say today, I said in two or three weeks in our marriage meetings, but just bear with me because we're going to go a little bit deeper. The question that I want us to answer is this. How can we have a biblical marriage in the context of the church?

And the first two things that I want you to see from my question is my assumptions. I'm not only saying, how can we have a good marriage? I'm not saying, how can we have a happy marriage? I'm not saying, how can we have a successful marriage? But rather the adjective that I'm giving to that noun is biblical marriage.

Because when it comes to marriage, we should not ask ourselves the question, what do I want from my marriage, right? I should ask the question, what does God want from marriage? And the reason why I should ask that question is because I did not invent my marriage. The one who invented it and created and instituted marriage is God, and if God is the one who instituted and created marriage, then the question that I need to ask myself is not, how can I have a good, successful or happy marriage? But rather the question that I need to ask is, how can I have a biblical marriage?

A marriage that is according to the will of God. And let me submit to you that the only way that marriage can be successful, happy and good is if it's biblical. Because as we have just read here in this passage, the goal of marriage is to portray or to speak of a relationship between Christ and the church. The institution of marriage was created with the purpose of something greater. And that something greater is Christ Jesus and the church.

So while people outside of Jesus Christ may come because of their personalities and their backgrounds and their experiences, they may get along very well, and they may come to the conclusion, yes, we have a good marriage. Yes, we have a successful marriage. Yes, we have a blessed marriage. If the standard that they're using for defining the type of marriage that they have is their own imagination and their own standard, Let me tell you that that is not the will of the Lord for a marriage, brethren, right? They're just simply making up that standard with their own minds.

The question that we need to ask is, how do we develop a biblical marriage? And the second assumption during my question is that a biblical marriage will happen and live within the context of the local church. So how can we develop a biblical marriage according to the will of God in the context of the local church? And I'm going to answer that question with three statements that we're going to go through the scriptures, and I'm going to give you those statements from the beginning, so I hope that that will make it easier for us to answer that question. How can we have a biblical marriage in the context of the church?

First, we have a biblical marriage in the context of the church by understanding the purpose of marriage. If we want to have a biblical marriage according to the will of the Lord, then the first thing that we need to understand is what is God's purpose for marriage? So we are going to examine from the Scriptures the purpose, the ultimate purpose for marriage. Second thing that I'm going to submit to you that is important for us to have a biblical marriage, that is, how do we make decisions? In order to have a biblical marriage, we need to understand how to make decisions in the marriage, husband and wife.

Thirdly, I'm going to submit to you that in order to have a biblical marriage, we need to understand and have priorities. First, we need to understand the purpose, the biblical purpose of marriage. Second, we need to understand how to make decisions in the context of marriage. And then thirdly, we need to address what are the priorities that a marriage should have. So let us start with the first one.

And I forgot to put my phone here with the time. So I'm really sorry if I go beyond the time that I usually am supposed to speak. So let us go with the first one. How do we develop a biblical marriage? We develop a biblical marriage by understanding the purpose of a marriage.

And pay attention to the statement that I'm making here. Understanding the purpose of a marriage. When I say the purpose of a marriage, I'm referring to the ultimate purpose of a marriage. Because let me submit to you that when you read the Scriptures from the book of Genesis all the way to the New Testament, you will realize that God speaks and says many things about marriage. And he gives us many purposes about marriage.

Actually, the Apostle Paul is quoting here in this passage that we have read, Genesis 2, verse 24, when he says that man is supposed to leave the father and the mother and to join to the wife, and they shall become one flesh. There, in Genesis 2, 24, we have a purpose of marriage. And that is togetherness. That is unity. That is to become one flesh.

One of the purpose of marriages is that we will leave our parents and then we will join to our spouse. And when we join our spouse, the Bible tells us that we become one flesh. And that unity between husband and wife is so powerful that the scriptures tells us that only death can separate the one fleshness and the togetherness of husband and wife. There we have a purpose of marriage, and that is the purpose of unity or togetherness. If you continue reading in Genesis chapter 1, Genesis chapter 2, and Genesis chapter 3, you will soon realize that another purpose of marriage is to have children.

You remember Genesis chapter 1 verse 28, after God has blessed Adam and Eve, He says that they are to be fruitful, and to multiply, and to fill the earth. That is that one of the purposes of marriage is to have children, and to procreate, and to have offspring, and to feel dear. That is a blessed purpose of marriage. Even if you continue reading there through Genesis, you will realize that another purpose of marriage is work. Adam and Eve are placed in the garden, and they are given the task to keep and to protect the Garden of Eden.

And Eve is made a helpmate to Adam so that Adam can protect and to work in the garden. After the fall, after they committed the sin, in Genesis chapter 3, we realize that that purpose of marriage of work now is corrupted, and they suffer. They are to wean the bread with the sweat of their faces. You remember that. There, as we progress through the scriptures, we realize that there are many purposes of marriage.

Togetherness, to be one flesh. Also, to have companionship in that togetherness, or procreation, to have children, and also work. But I'm not asking the question, what are the purposes of marriage? I'm asking the question, what is the ultimate purpose? of marriage?

And I think that the answer to that question is given to us in the passage that we have in Ephesians chapter 5. Now, I'm not going to speak about the role of wives and husbands, but I do want you to pay attention to the many times, at least five or six times, that the apostle is going to compare marriage to the relationship between Christ and the church. He's going to tell us in verse 22, wives, submit to your own husbands, us to the Lord. In other words, in the likeness to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.

Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he may present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or anything, any such thing, that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, or in the same likeness, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

The point of the Apostle is actually very simple. The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of Christ Jesus and the church. So he says, just as the husband, or just as Christ Jesus loved the church and gave himself for her, so the husband is to love the wife, and of course, be sacrificial to her husband. And just as the church submits to the Lord Jesus Christ, so is the wife to respect and to submit the husband. The idea and the main point of the puzzle is very simple.

When we see a marriage husband and wife, we are to see the relationship of the Church and the Lord Jesus Christ. So let me submit to you, my dear brother and sister, that the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to have kids, is not to be united together, is not work. Those are purposes of marriage. But the ultimate, the final goal of marriage is to give glory to God by reflecting the relationship of the church and Jesus Christ as we manifest and as we portray, as we communicate the elements of the Gospel in our relationship. Let me say this once again, the ultimate purpose of marriage is to give glory to God, as we reflect the relationship of the Church of Jesus Christ.

And this relationship of the Church and Jesus Christ has two important elements that we see in this text. One that is given to the husband, and one that is given to the wife. To the husband is required sacrificial love, and to the wife it is required submission. Now, these are not two requirements that are exclusive of husbands and wives. Because when you read the scriptures, you realize that all Christians are called to have sacrificial love.

Remember 1 John chapter 4? All Christians, independently of being men or women, they are called to have sacrificial love. And only in verse 21 of the chapter that we have just read, we are told that we are to submit one to another. It says, verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. The point of the Apostle is not only to point the specific role of the husband and the specific role of the wife, even though he does that and the rest of the scripture speaks to that matter, but the main point of the Apostle is to speak about two elements of the gospel that are supposed to be the characteristic of a marriage.

Sacrificial love, and commitment or reverence or submission. I call this commitment and then you will see why. The two key elements of a marriage are meant to be sacrificial love. an enduring commitment. That word, submit, it is literally to be in reverential position under the authority.

In this case, just as the church is in reverential position under Christ Jesus, the wife is to be in reverential position under the husband. Now, this is, of course, not to be an authoritarian way, but rather it speaks of the commitment that they have to each other. The husband has the commitment to lead, and the wife has the commitment to respect that authority that has been given to God. So let me submit to you, my dear brother and sister, that the ultimate purpose of a biblical marriage is to give glory to God as we reflect the relationship of Christ Jesus and the Church that is characterized by sacrificial love and commitment. This ultimate purpose is the one that is supposed to be the lenses through which we understand every one of the temporal purposes, as I call them.

We cannot understand the purpose of being together if we don't see it through the lenses of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. You know what I mean? I mean that if we are supposed to see that ultimate purpose of marriage, which is to give glory to God by reflecting Christ Jesus and the Church in sacrificial love and commitment, those are to be the lenses through which we understand any of the other purposes of marriage. Being together is not only for being together. Husband and wife come one flesh, not for the sake of one another, not because they were alone and they were tired of their parents and I want to leave my parents' place and I want to marry this girl that I like.

The purpose of being together is with the purpose of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If I do not understand my one fleshness to my wife in light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, then I can end up making my unity and one fleshness to my wife an idol. Or I can just simply depend upon my flesh to be together with my wife. And it only takes that this transactional love when you are in the flesh and not in the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, when that transaction of I give you, you give me comes to an end for the husband or wife to decide to take a different path. If Christ Jesus is not the center of the unity of husband and wife, then the flash will eventually get tired.

I'm a dear brother and sister. It just only takes that we get old enough, 40, 50, 60, or 70, and then we are not strong enough to take a different path. And I just remain with her or I remain with him because I don't want to go through the shame of being separated or divorced. I'm not going to take now this different path of being just simply separated. I'm just simply going to continue going with this because it is now too late.

That person, that woman, and that man can be together in a house, brother and sister, but they are not together. They are not one flesh. Because one fleshness is to be understood, brethren, in light of Christ Jesus. The reason why we want to be together is because He loved us and He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die upon the cross to forgive us of our sins and to make us His people. And because of that, I sacrificially love you because He loved me first.

And I'm committed to you because He was committed to me in sending His Son to die upon the cross. And independently of what happens to you, my commitment to you is not rooted in who you are. But it's rooted in who He is and what He has called me to do and the genuine meaning of what marriage is supposed to be. A marriage is not meant to be good, brethren. A marriage is meant to be biblical.

And a biblical marriage is the one that points to the person of Jesus Christ. Children. The purpose of having children, it is because of the Lord Jesus Christ. There's going to be providentially, at times, situations in which we are not able to have children. And if having children, this temporal purpose, is the ultimate purpose for which I married this man or married this woman, then not having children is going to become a burden upon the shoulders of that couple.

But if the purpose of being together is not having children, or is not being together, but is to give glory to God, as we reflect Christ Jesus and the church, and demonstrate a sacrificial love and commitment to each other, Even if providentially we're not able to have children, then our eyes are going to be set upon Christ Jesus. He's going to be the source of our strength. He's going to be the source of our love. He's going to be the source of our endurance. He's going to be the source of our wisdom.

He's going to be the source of our words. He's the one that is going to lead us and guide us. All the temporal purposes of a marriage are to be understood in light of that eternal purpose of husband and wife. And this, my dear brother and sister, requires that our eyes are placed upon the Lord Jesus Christ. Whether you're single or whether you're married, you need to understand that this is the purpose of marriage.

If you're patiently waiting for the person that is going to come your way and is going to be your husband or your wife, I forgot the word for one second there, your husband or your wife, and your brother and sister, please remember That what you need to look for in a person is not good looks, is not money, is not power, is not strength. What you need to look for in a person is that he or she is in Christ Jesus that has been forgiven for their sins, and that they have the desire to honor the Lord Jesus Christ with their lives and with their hearts. Because it's better to have a man or a woman that might not be the most beautiful or the most handsome, or that their check or their money might not be a lot of money, or their car or their house might not be the one that you want. But if a person is in Christ Jesus, brethren, then you have the path to joyful unity in the presence of Christ. That is for the single, my dear brother and sister, and for the married.

Independently of what your situation is, the purpose of being together is not to derive satisfaction from the other person, their looks, what they do or what they don't do. The purpose of a marriage is to give glory to Christ. as we reflect the relationship of Christ and the Church, sacrificial love and commitment. Does it matter that my husband or my wife is an unbeliever? No, brother.

That which is required of a Christian husband or that which is required of a Christian wife is exactly the same. We forgive because he forgave us. We love because he loved us. The power and the strength of the husband and the wife is not derived from the other, but is derived from the Lord Jesus Christ. And when the eyes of the husband and when the eyes of the wife are placed upon the Lord Jesus Christ, then we're going to be able not only to fulfill the ultimate purpose of marriage, but even when adversity comes, my dear brother and sister, we're going to be sustained, not for our ability to endure the tribulation and the trial, but because our eyes are placed upon the Lord Jesus Christ.

What is the message that we always give from this pulpit? Look to Christ, do not look to self. Place your hope, your faith upon Him, the completed work of the Lord Jesus Christ. And when your eyes are so focused upon Him and what He had done, let me tell you that everyone around you become beautiful and worthy to serve. Let me tell you that everyone around you becomes so nice, then you're not looking about the bad things that people have, but now you have compassion and then you can love them and you can serve them, not because you feel that you're better than them, but because you have seen Christ Jesus and the work of the cross for your life, brethren.

You're waiting patiently for a man or a woman. Look to Christ and aim that the person that is going to be your wife or your husband is also in Christ Jesus. I'm not sure how am I going with the time, but I said that the first thing that we were going to do is to examine the purpose of a marriage. Second, let me take you to Romans chapter 14. How do we develop a biblical marriage?

We develop a biblical marriage by knowing how to make decisions. I hope that the first point that I made is clear with your brother and sister and that you see that we are never going to be able to have a biblical marriage if the goal of our marriage is any of those temporal purposes, being together or having kids or work or future, but rather the ultimate purpose of a marriage that is to give glory to God by reflecting the relationship of Christ Jesus and the church with sacrificial love and genuine commitment. Now I want to show you a very important ethical question, and that is, how are we supposed to make decisions? And I said, let us come to Romans chapter 14. Making decisions is going to be a very important part of the relationship between Christians in the context of the Church, and of course also is going to be a very important part of a marriage.

Two people that are coming from different backgrounds, two people that are coming perhaps even from different cultures, two people that are coming from two different house in which they have been raised in a very different way, two people that are coming from different experiences. Now they are put together in a house without all the things that they had before and now they have to make decisions. They have to agree, but many times they are going to disagree. How are we going to make decisions now as a husband and as a wife, and better, how are we going to make decisions as Christians, which is the point that the Apostle Paul will address at least implicitly in Romans chapter 14. Let me just tell you a little bit of the background of the Roman Church, and then we will understand our reading.

If you remember, the Roman Church is a church that was not initiated or established by any of the apostles. You remember, perhaps, there in Acts, Chapter 2, when the Spirit of God came upon Peter, you remember? And then Peter came, and then he started to preach, and there were people from all different places and all different cities. We are told that there were people from Rome. It's very likely that those people who heard Peter that were saved in Acts chapter 2 then returned to Rome and then they started or they established the church in Rome.

One of the characteristics of the church in Rome is that it was comprised by Jews and by Gentiles, right? And what can go wrong with Jews and Gentiles in a in a church in the first century. Many things can go wrong, right? So we had people from different backgrounds and we had people with different cultures. We had people even from different religions that now we're coming together to try to make decisions about this Christian life that is a completely new thing.

And as you would expect, then we're going to see here in Romans chapter 14, there started to be some controversies in the context of the Roman church. Some people, some Jews, they were saying, well, we need to observe the Sabbath. Because that's what we have learned in our Judaism, right? In the way that we were raised. So we are to observe certain days because this new Christianity that we have is founded upon the Old Testament.

And because it's founded upon the Old Testament, we need to keep the traditions as we would have them before. Some other people were saying, we need to observe certain rules about food and the things that we eat. So they were saying, we are not to eat those things, and we can eat those things. Of course, people in Rome, they did not know anything about the traditions of the Jews, and they did not understand that we were supposed to observe this day or to observe that day. You would imagine this brought controversy and trouble in the Roman Church.

There were people who had beliefs about particular matters. There were people who had preferences about particular matters. And because of those preferences, those people were having certain emotions, certain feelings. We are told here in these first 12 verses of Romans chapter 14, that there were some people that were judging others. They were not happy with the fact that they did not want to observe some of those laws or traditions about food.

And they were not happy about the fact that there were some Christians that did not want to observe certain days or food there. They were judging one another. In these 12 verses, brethren, we're going to be and see a very important distinction for Christian ethics that are going to allow us to make decisions in a righteous way. The apostle is going to point us to three important distinctions. One is that, please pay attention to this, and I know that I could be a little bit boring and kind of like a lecture, but please pay attention to this because this is really important for decision making and for not getting yourself in trouble with another brother and sister and not filling your heart with bitterness just because they did something that I did not like.

If you learn this, brethren, this is going to help us and save us from a lot of difficulties that happen inside of the heart and in the mind. We don't need to go to that person and be upset with our face and tell them, I did not like what you did. When we do that, it's because it's been months that we have been harboring things in our hearts. So in order to avoid that, pay attention to this. The apostle is going to make distinction between three important things that are the ones that we need to distinguish to make biblical decisions.

One is a belief. Second is a preference. And the third one are emotions. Beliefs are going to be the core sets of truth that a person is not willing to negotiate. The Lord Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.

This is a belief. However, people do not only have beliefs. Those things are core sets of truth that become the lenses through which you interpret the world. People do not only have beliefs. They also have preferences.

And those preferences are like blue over red, or I like the air con, I don't like the air con, or I like the fan, or I don't like the fan, or I like this thing, or I don't like this thing, preferences. These are things that are important to us. but they are not as important as our beliefs. And of course, both beliefs and preferences will produce in us emotions. Emotions, the characteristic of emotions is that they are short term.

You can be happy on Monday, you can be down on Tuesday, you can be sorrowful on Wednesday, your emotions change. They are responses and reactions to external factors. The church in Rome had a problem. And that problem is that instead of giving a preeminence to their beliefs, They were given in preeminence to their preferences and their emotions. So when the apostle Paul is coming to solve the issue that they were addressing here, the apostle Paul is going to redirect their minds to say, the belief is much more important than your preference.

And your emotion is not to take the place of what you actually believe. Let us just read this, and then I will explain the context of what the apostle does here. This is Romans chapter 12. As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables.

Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls, and he will be upheld for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person esteems one day as better than another, that is the preference, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.

That is the belief. It is out of faith that is meant to be done. Verse six, the one who observes the day, observe it in honor to the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself.

For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he may be the Lord both of the dead and of the living. Why do you pass judgment on your brother? And why do you despise your brother?

For we will stand before the judgment seat of God, for it is written, as I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me and every tongue shall confess to God. So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. The point of the apostle is this. Why are you focusing on that which you prefer? Why is your attention, why are your relationships defined by the preference that you have?

Some of you observe the law of the day, some of you observe the law of the food. Why do you want to pass judgment upon your brother and sister for the preference that you have? Don't you know that whether you eat or whether you observe the day, the principle is, the belief is that you are supposed to do that as unto the Lord? Don't you know that faith is the principle that is supposed to guide and that is supposed to rule that which you do? Whether you eat or whether you observe the day, you are to observe it as unto the Lord.

Of course, the apostle was not indifferent to the teaching of food or to the teaching of days. Actually, we have other portions of the Scripture that clearly shows us that the apostle teaches about the truth of food and teaches about the truth of the day. But the point of the apostle is you guys are supposed to be unified in that which you believe. And as you grow in that which you believe, then your preferences are eventually going to be united. Do not try to seek unity in your preferences, but rather see the things that you are supposed to believe that are core to your worldview, that are core to your faith, and you are supposed to live like that.

Let me submit to you, my dear brother and sister, that unity in the church and unity in marriage depends upon unity on the things that we believe. That's why the Bible calls us in 2 Corinthians 6 not to be unequally yoked, not to be joined to unrighteousness, not to be joined to darkness, not to be joined to that which is of the world. Because the main thing that unites the decision-making process in a church and the decision-making process in a marriage is to be united in beliefs. We might try very hard to be united in preference, but that is simply not going to work. Unity, genuine unity that happens between husband and wife is the one that is rooted upon belief.

In other words, it is a marriage that is governed by that which is written in the scriptures. So a biblical marriage, my dear brother and sister, is one that seeks to honor God. by reflecting the relationship of Christ Jesus and the church, as we manifest sacrificial love and commitment to one another, and as we aim to be unified in our beliefs. Because our beliefs are going to be the rock and the foundation of everything that we do and that we say. If we do not have the same beliefs, we cannot have unity.

If we don't have the same mind, we cannot have the same unity. And it's for that reason, my dear brother and sister, you who are single, that you're not only looking for a person that is in Christ, but you're also ought to look for a person that believes what you believe according to the Scriptures. Because that which you believe according to the Scriptures is what is going to Lead your conscience before the Lord. And the greatest blessing that a husband and a wife can have is not so much that they like red, or blue, or tea, or coffee, or the morning over the night. That is beautiful.

But the most powerful that they can have is that they believe the same, brethren. that they see their God and that they believe the same, that when they come to the scriptures, that they see the Lord, they see the work of the Lord, they see the work of the church, they see what is contained in the scriptures, and they believe the same. And let me submit to you that believing the same requires then that the marriage, the husband and the wife will submit not to each other ultimately, that they will submit to the Lord and to the word of the Lord. And then we finally come then to the priorities that a marriage should have. I have said up to this point that the purpose of a biblical marriage is to glorify God by reflecting the relationship of Christ and the Church as we manifest sacrificial love and commitment, and we work in unity in our beliefs.

Thirdly, let me tell you then the priorities. What are supposed to be then the priorities of our marriage? What is the priority of a husband and a wife? Everything that I have said up to this point, my dear brother and sister, is impossible to be accomplished in the flesh. We are not going to be able to glorify God in our own flesh.

We're not going to be able to reflect the church and Jesus Christ in our own flesh. We're not going to be able to love each other sacrificially in our own flesh. We're not going to be able to be committed to one another in our own flesh. We're not going to be able to have one mind and have the same beliefs in our own flesh. The only one who can do that, his name is Jesus Christ.

So the priority of a marriage should not be each other, but the priority of a marriage should be? Jesus Christ. The more the husband and wife look to the Lord Jesus Christ, the closer that they can be to each other. Not by virtue of liking each other, which we do want to like each other, but by virtue of being close to the Lord. So whether you're single or whether you're married and you want to marry in the future and then you're patiently waiting or whatever your situation is, know that a biblical marriage is one that depends upon the preeminence of the Lord Jesus Christ.

That's why we call that a biblical marriage, a marriage that is a marriage of the Lord. The eyes of the husband and the eyes of the wife are placed only upon the Lord Jesus Christ, communion with Christ. fellowship with Christ, not only to speak about Christ intellectually, not only to feel our brains of knowledge and doctrine and facts about Jesus Christ, but communion with Christ, fellowship with Christ, just as the scripture has ordained that we will have communion with Christ through prayer, through the word of God, through the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the context of the local church. When we pray, we come to the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, and we commune with Him. And we're not only speaking to Him, but we are also receiving the imparted righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ.

We are being conformed and transformed to the image of the Lord Jesus Christ. That's why Peter says in 1 Peter 3, verse 7, that if we do not treat our wives as the weaker vessel with understanding, then our prayers are hindered. You remember the passage? The prayers of the husband who is not treating his wife in an understanding way, they're going to be hindered. Why?

Because we're one flesh and we present ourselves before the Lord as one. And we need to have the strength and the power of the Lord upon us to relate to one another in prayer. So a biblical marriage, brethren, is one that prays together and that comes before the presence of the Lord to pray together. Not only in prayer, but in the Scriptures. All Scripture has been given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that we might be complete in all things.

2 Timothy 3, verse 16. The Scriptures is that which equips us to have the same belief. Brother and sister, if you're single and you're patiently waiting for the person that is going to come your way, this is what the scriptures tells us that we ought to look for. A man or a woman that love the Lord Jesus Christ, and that in loving the Lord Jesus Christ, they want to honor with you, God, by reflecting with you the relationship between Christ and the church in sacrificial love and commitment as they submit to the Lord Jesus Christ in the word of God, And they do it not with words only, but they do it with reality. They love Christ, and they spend time with Him, and they submit to the Lord in prayer and in the Word of God.

And the gospel is the frame by which they deal with absolutely all things, knowing that in Christ Jesus, brethren, we have that which is required for us to solve whatever problem. Did you know that? He is the one that deals with all the issues of our lives. Why are we going to try to deal with the problems of our lives on our own? The gospel is the means by which forgiveness is given.

The gospel is the means by which unrighteousness is fixed. The gospel is the means by which that which is broken is restored. Jesus Christ and the Spirit is the means by which that which is down is brought up. We have in the gospel the power of God unto salvation and hence, Everything that happens in a marriage should be within the frame of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Why are we going to leave an argument or a difficulty between husband and wife undealt with?

Why are we not going to come to the Lord in repentance and bring this and seek forgiveness from the Lord? Why are we just simply going to depart and sleep in different rooms and then just to distance ourselves instead of dealing with it as God has called us to deal with it? Brethren, separation, emotional, or distance between husband and wife does not solve the problem. It only makes you feel in your mind that the problem is gone, but the problem is still there. Because sin is only dealt with Jesus Christ.

He's the only one that covers sin. He's the only one that forgives sin. He's the only one that brings nourishment to the soul. He's only Christ Jesus. And we're not to be ashamed or embarrassed to come to the Lord Jesus Christ if we're required to come to him a hundred times.

He says in 1 John 1 verse 9 that he's just and faithful to forgive our sins if we confess our sins. So husbands and wives, we have in the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ everything that is required to go to bed, not with a bitter heart, but with a joyful heart, that independently of the mistake that I made or independently of the mistake that she made, we are forgiven in Christ Jesus. But if you don't deal, if we don't deal with our problems through the Gospel of Christ Jesus, and if we only try to solve them in our own wisdom, brethren, this is going to accumulate, and accumulate, and accumulate, and accumulate, and accumulate, and accumulate, and then we see and explodes. Because we cannot solve the problems of the soul in our own flesh. Marriage is supposed to reflect the relationship of Christ, Jesus, and the Church.

Ephesians chapter 5, we have read it now two times. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ Jesus has loved the Church, and wives are to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to the Lord Jesus Christ. The biblical marriage is one who honors God, gives glory to God, by bringing the gospel to life. Sacrificial love and commitment. And a couple that lives in prayer, in the Word of God and in the gospel, brethren, is one that is going to want to serve the people of God.

He's one that is going to be within the context of the church, proclaiming the gospel, serving the brethren, being with one another, praying for one another, serving in the ministry of the kingdom of the Lord. Because now they know that they have been saved by the grace of the Lord and the meaning of their lives. Like Aquila and Priscilla, remember Acts chapter 18, it is to serve the Lord, that the best example that they can give to their offspring is giving their lives to the Lord, that the best way to raise your children is to show them that if he has saved me, now I live for him because he's the one that saves sinners from hell. He's the one that is the solution to the problem of the soul, that Christ Jesus is the answer. So my dear brother and sister, we cannot do any of this in our own strength.

None of this is possible in our own strength. None of this is possible in our own wisdom. And we don't take this program, psychological program, one, two, three steps, so that I become a better man or a better wife. Brethren, we need Christ Jesus in our lives. Husbands and wives, we need Christ Jesus in our lives.

It is better to be close to Him so that I can generally be close to my wife than trying to be close to my wife in the flesh, because eventually this is going to bring separation. It is better to be close to Christ so that I can be generally close to the Lord. whether you're single or whether you're married. If you're single and you're patiently waiting for the person that the Lord will bring your way, brother, sister, this is the advice that you will receive from me when that person comes. You need to look for a person that is in Christ Jesus and that you together want to glorify God by reflecting the church Christ Jesus and the church with sacrificial love.

and commitment, and as you do and wait for that person, ensure that this man, that this woman loves Christ Jesus and the Word. Because what you want to have is a man or a woman next to you that is ultimately submitted to Him and not to you, that ultimately loves Him and not so much you, that is ultimately given to Him and not to you. So be diligent in praying for that, if you're still waiting, and be diligent in coming before the Lord to ask for that, that these men or women will come this way and that the Lord will provide. But even if that person does not come, even if days pass and that person does not come, dear brother and sister, you who are patiently waiting, Remember that you're already married to the best husband that can ever exist. Remember that you're already united to the one that is the lover of your soul.

Remember that even if that marriage was broken or that situation happened in the past, whatever that is, remember that you're already married to the one that is always going to be there. Remember that there is absolutely nothing that you can do to break this glorious covenant in which he has entered with you. Remember that you belong to a greater and more beautiful marriage. Remember that you're a part of the bride for whom God sent His Son so that they could have communion forever. If that man, that woman does not come, or if your marriage, because of sin, breaks apart and is destroyed, brethren, remember that the refuge of your soul is Christ Jesus.

Remember that the refuge of your heart is Him alone. And when you are in Him, there you are strengthened. And when you are strengthened, you're able to forgive. You're able to forbear. You're able to continue and to advance.

And even if you advance on your own and alone, you will do it knowing that you are in the hands of the one who loved you and the one that is going to take you from the beginning until the end. Because any marriage that happens on this side of the earth, as biblical as it can be, will never be like the marriage of the Son of God with the bride that is going to be consummated and finalized when he comes and he establishes his kingdom. And that is the glorious marriage that we look for. He is the lover of our souls, brethren. He is the one who died upon the cross for us.

And I suppose that I went beyond the time. May the Lord bless each one of you, single and married. And may the eyes of everyone within the sound of my voice will be pointed to the Lord Jesus Christ, because he loved us and he gave himself for us. Amen? Let us pray.